Frustrated
I honestly think my mother is a hypocritical narcissist. She wants me to be nice to her when she's really rude to me. Whenever I call her out on it or tell her that she is rude as well, she gets mad at me and turns the situation around onto me. I'm going to admit something: I'm very rude and disrespectful to my mom because that's how she is to me. I get frustrated that she's always allowed to point out my flaws and when I'm in the wrong but I'm never allowed to tell her when she's rude to me. My mom regularly makes comments about my weight, yes I know I'm overweight, and has actually fat shamed me in public a few times. Every time I try to express how I feel, she gets mad and tells me to stop, so I do the exact same thing when SHE tries to express herself. She claims to be really nice to me but she's not. She always makes me out to be the root cause of all of her stress but I'm not. I'm not the reason she doesn't have friends. I'm not the reason she's depressed. I am a PART OF THE REASON but not the full cause, I will admit that but my mom never admits when she's in the wrong or rude to me. Everytime I try to tell her that she's rude to me, she tells me to stop making it about me or what about what I do to her. My own uncle had talked to me about the way I treat my mom at a mother's day brunch. My mom was being rude to me and I reacted and of course that makes me the bad guy. My uncle straight up said "I don't care what she said to you first, you never talk to your mom like that." My own family has made me feel like it only matters how I treat my mom and the way she treats me doesn't matter. My personal assistant has even told me that the way my mom is is toxic and unhealthy. Someone please tell me what to do here, I can't afford to live anywhere, I have medications I take every day and I still need to live with my mom. I'm in a no-win situation and the stress is literally killing me every day. Someone please help me deal with this