For those of you who had a disappointing proposal, how did you cope and move on?
Hi 👋
I want to begin by saying that I have a wonderful partner and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I am so disappointed with how my proposal went. We have had premarital counseling and I see my own therapist but I am still having a really hard time moving past this. It’s mainly an issue for me because when I see my friends and family get engaged it is so hard for me to be happy for them because I get reminded of my sadness over my own proposal. Then it just turns into a spiral of guilt for not being 100% present for my friends and fear that I will never have him surprise me with nice gestures in the future. As a chronic people pleaser, it is nice to feel special and appropriated once in a blue moon without having to drop hints.
From the beginning I let him know that I didn’t want or need an over the top and expensive event, however, I did not think that this would translate into me getting the ring while dripping wet in a towel after the shower. To me, the big thing missing was a heartfelt message about why he wants to get married. He has a lot of anxiety so I felt like I had to pull teeth to get it to happen, he had the ring for about a year. We have had a very long engagement ~2 years as of now and we get married in a few months. I have told him many times about my disappointment and my fears for the future but he hasn’t done anything. He is such a great partner in every other aspect except for this milestone so I am kind of at a loss for what I should do. When I think about it now, a redo of the proposal would just piss me off because I would probably have to say something.