r/engaged

Hey girls !! I asked the same question on a French r/ and wanted to see if you guys might have any tips we don't user over there ! I see a lot of people using Excel to manage their guest list, what type of information do you include ? Last name, first name and what else ?

It's such a pain when u have to do this for a hundred guests...

I could really use some outside perspective because I’m feeling heartbroken, and I don’t know if I’m taking this too personally.

My fiancé proposed to me a week ago while we were on holiday. It was a beautiful moment, and I was genuinely so happy. While we were still away, we called his parents to tell them the news so they would hear it directly from us before we got home. They congratulated us, seemed surprised and everything felt normal.

When we got back, things started to feel… off.
His dad seemed a little distant at first, although later he asked to see my ring. His mum has been perfectly normal. But we also got a comment along the lines of, “Well, you handled this nicely behind our backs.” For context, my fiancé didn’t tell anyone he was planning to propose. It was entirely his decision to keep it a surprise, and I never asked him to tell his family beforehand.

Then his brother came over with his wife.
His brother has very negative views about marriage in general, and honestly, the way he treats his own wife isn’t something I admire. He immediately started questioning us about the proposal. It didn’t feel like genuine curiosity—it felt like he was trying to get me to admit that I had pressured my fiancé into proposing.
Then he kept asking questions like: “So what’s the plan now?” “What’s your future?” “Where is your life going?” But it wasn’t in a warm or supportive way. It felt much more like I was being interrogated or tested, almost like one of those stereotypical “What’s your intention with my daughter?” conversations—but directed at me.
I became increasingly uncomfortable and eventually had to leave because I felt like I was about to cry.

To be clear, my fiancé has been supportive since we talked about it. He says that if his family has an issue with our engagement, they should say it directly instead of expecting us to guess what they’re thinking. He refuses to play guessing games, and I actually respect that.

I think what hurts me most is that I imagined coming home and celebrating this exciting milestone with his family. Instead, I feel anxious, judged, and like our happiness has somehow become overshadowed.

Am I overreacting? Has anyone else experienced a strange or disappointing reaction from their partner’s family after getting engaged? I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s perspectives.

So I’m planning to propose this fall, and afterward I want to surprise her with an engagement party. Her family will be flying in from out of state, and we’ll also have her friends, my family, and my friends there. I’ve already talked to most people about it.

The problem is… once I started counting everyone’s partners, the guest list has grown into the 70’s 😂 is that too many people for an engagement party immediately after a proposal? I still want the proposal itself to be private- she doesn’t want a bunch of strangers around while I propose. The idea is to propose somewhere quiet, then bring her to the party afterward. I think she’d be happy to see everyone and to show everyone. I just don’t know if it’s too much haha.

Has anyone done something similar with this many people? Did it still feel intimate, or did it end up feeling more like too much? Any logistical tips or things you’d do differently?

To put things into perspective- I am Native American with a big family and friend group, and similarly she is Mexican with a big family and friend group. So it feels like it should be normal. But at the same time, I don’t want it to be too much. This would replace the traditional engagement party, we don’t want too many events to be honest. Just our bachelorettes and actual wedding (which is going to be out of country in Mexico, so most people won’t be able to go which is the way we want it)

Engaged on June 20th, venue secured for May 15th, 2027 already as of today 🥹🥹🥹 so excited!!!!

Next comes the catering, photography, etc.,,,our venue is GORGEOUS though and comes with a lot of decorations for us to choose from too. Aaaaaaa.

Hi all! I’m brainstorming and wanted to hear thoughts & seek advice. I personally do not think I want to have a wedding for a variety of different reasons that are honestly a little hard for me to articulate? For some reason the thought of having one just makes me very uncomfy (pls don’t judge). A few reasons: I just don’t want the whole big thing. I don’t want to spend the money. I don’t want gifts from people. I don’t want to have pressure put on bridesmaids, I don’t want to think about a party for a year, etc. I’d kinda like my fiancé and I to just go do our own thing at a courthouse or elope or something.

However, the only thing I’d miss from a wedding is celebrating my relationship with family and friends, and transparently/selfishly, I still do want at least one day to feel special and have people show up for me in the way I’ve showed up for friends and other people in my life. I kinda love the idea of having an engagement party that’s elegant and fun. We live by the beach so I’d love to book out a nice event space by the water and have food and an open bar & then maybe afterwards party and go out with close friends/whoever wants to join. I understand some people wouldn’t prioritize an engagement party as they would a wedding & that’s okay with me. The people closest to us would know the situation and prioritize being there. Anyway, Is this like rude in any way to do engagement party, with no wedding?

I’m also curious to hear other engagement party experiences/things you did, what format you followed etc. any ideas welcome. Thanks all 😊