r/engaged

One thing that’s been unexpectedly funny since getting engaged is how random and specific our conversations have become. Like we’ll be eating dinner and suddenly one of us goes:

“Wait… are people supposed to sit with people they know at weddings or do you mix tables?”

Or: “Do we actually need to invite cousins we haven’t seen in years?” Or somehow we end up in a 25-minute discussion about whether Friday weddings secretly annoy everyone.

I think before getting engaged I imagined planning as this organized thing where you sit down, make decisions, and move on. Instead it feels like tiny wedding questions just randomly interrupt normal life at the weirdest times. Not complaining because some of those conversations have honestly been really funny/sweet, but I definitely didn’t expect engagement to feel like this.

What’s the most random thing you suddenly found yourself discussing after getting engaged?

My fiance and I got engaged a month ago and we essentially got ghosted by our engagement photographer. Ever since our photo shoot, my fiance has been sending follow up text/emails with no response. I called him today and he answered, telling me to text him instead. I texted him to ask where we are in the process of everything and I’m afraid he is going to ghost us again. Has anyone dealt with this situation before? What would you recommend we do? It saddens me there’s a chance we may not have any photographic memories of our special day :(

im probably(definitely lol) overthinking this but me and my fiance got engaged in february while on a trip, i told my close friends and family and intended on making a social media post(im not active and dont post much) but honestly it just kind of slipped my mind amidst everything.

i just thought about it today and ofcourse i want to change my relationship status but i feel like its weird to make a post "announcing" it when its been months after the fact? what do yall think?

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years and are about to go through a huge life transition together (moving, job changes, etc). We both absolutely want to get engaged and have talked about marriage for a long time, so this was never a question of commitment or love.

We’ve both been really stressed, exhausted, and not fully ourselves lately. We had a very draining past year with work, family stress, health stuff, and just trying to stay connected and romantic through all of it. But regardless, we love each other deeply and know we can weather hard things together.

Yesterday we spent the day together and I genuinely thought we were heading toward a really nice proposal moment. We got food for a picnic, talked about going to the beach, and I felt the romantic spark again. But instead of going to the beach he just…drove us home.

Then while we were walking the dog in the backyard, he suddenly said “I don’t want to keep waiting for the perfect moment” and pulled the ring out of his pocket. I literally had to remind him to get down on one knee. Meanwhile our dog was doing zoomies, chewing sticks beside us, and we were standing in the worst part of our yard beside dead grass and bushes behind the fire pit.

He asked if I was okay because I think my face showed disappointment. I told him I loved him, loved the ring, and absolutely wanted to marry him, but I had imagined the moment being a bit more intentional.

He took the ring back off my finger and tried again with a sweet speech while we sat on a little bench in the yard, but at that point I felt kind of out of body. The neighbours were mowing their lawn, the dog was still going crazy, and everything just felt emotionally scrambled and rushed.

Afterwards I thought maybe we’d go somewhere nice and sit together and take in the moment, but instead we just went inside and he made instant noodles. I couldn’t even properly look at the ring because it weirdly felt like I wasn’t supposed to have seen it yet.

Eventually he apologized and said he was too nervous and overwhelmed, and that he wants to redo it another time and make it special for both of us, so he took the ring back again.

Now I feel really conflicted. I love him deeply and absolutely still want to marry him, but I’m scared the “special first moment” is ruined now because I already saw the ring, already saw him on one knee, already technically said yes, etc. At the same time, I know he was overwhelmed too and genuinely trying his best. He’s never been great at surprises or romantic gestures, but he works hard to be a good partner and the best version of himself for us both.

Has anyone else had a messy or awkward proposal that eventually turned out okay? Did the redo still feel meaningful afterward?

Hey all. Going with my partner on an overnight trip to hike in RRG this weekend, and suspect he may propose! We have discussed and planned to get engaged sometime this year, and this specific hike is the first one that we went on together back in 2020. So, basically, it would be perfect.

My question is - what if he doesn't do it? I'm trying to gaslight myself into not expecting anything, but of course that's easier said than done. I just don't want to be on this wonderful hike with my wonderful partner who I know is going to propose soon and then get into a mood/be disappointed if it doesn't happen.

Anyone gone into a weekend or event expecting a proposal and then come out without it? Any tips on how to not let it get to me and just keep living in the moment? I would just appreciate any advice or personal stories to help ease the anxiety!

I’m in need of some help… or maybe some validation?

My fiance and I are from 2 very different words. I’m from a broken home with not a lot of money. He is from a family with no divorces and heaps of wealth.

We have been together 5 years and have a 3 year old.

We got engaged 2 years ago and started planning the wedding. My in-laws offered to help financially - we were allowed a budget the same as my sister in law. This was super nice of them as we have been struggling financially since our child was born.

Now I’ve never really dreamed of being a bride, I’m very introverted. I’d love to get married on the top of a mountain with no one around but my partner wants his family there. My mum’s second wedding was an elopement and my brother is against marriage. I really love my fiance and want to marry him but it’s making me so anxious.

2 years ago we started planning and then the in laws started taking control. They didn’t just give us money, we had to almost get approval for every little thing before they’d help. And they often dictated and ‘suggested’ based on what my sister in law did. Every decision was a sales pitch. Then they lectured me about inviting my dad (who my mum left as he was abusive) because it’s important for my son to have a relationship with him. This caused me to spiral emotionally and I was really depressed. I made up an excuse about needing surgery and cancelled everything we’d pencilled in.

Fast forward to today - I really want to be married and have the same surname as my son. We suggested a small intimate ceremony in the Cotswolds in September. Reason being that my family are in the UK (we live in NZ).and my finance’s family are all there in September. We would then have another ‘wedding in NZ’ which would have lots of friends and family. The In laws were thrilled and offered to pay.

We found a little pub and would have 11 immediate family members and 5 children. Small intimate vows, lawn games and then lunch in the pub. Simple dress, minimal flowers, photographer for a few hours. This all makes me feel less anxious and almost excited!

But

In laws are now dictating that their cousins in the UK (who I’ve never met) should be there and they’ve demanded to see the guest list because ‘they are paying’. They said it’s very important to them and my sister in law as they are very close to them. My fiance pushed back and they are disappointed and almost holding the money ransom until they get their way.

They could see how upset I was on the phone and they wouldn’t budge. I’ve told them so many times how anxious I am and they don’t get it. They’re like ‘it’s only 2 more people’. But it’s not the point in my mind? Where do we draw the line?

I can potentially get a loan from a family member if we decided to pay for the UK wedding which I don’t mind but is that going to cause more issues?

Now I’m spiralling again….

The page is Salina TC. (From Las Vegas) profile pic is a bride. Please report the page. Grooms and family/friends are seeing dresses before the big day. No makeup. Bra straps showing. Back pudge hanging out. Totally uncool. They are even including the brides written post as well. Report it. Your photo is probably on someone else’s fb feed. Sorry in advance if your pics were stolen. 😞