u/Agreeable-Safety5633

I accidentally found out that I am getting engaged to during a October Hawaii trip! My BF's brother let it slip that my BF has the ring and has been setting things up with his cousins (who live in Hawaii).

I have a nail and hair appointment booked (which conveniently I always do before vacay - so I already have the appointments booked, but now instead of dying my hair an alt style I'm just going to keep my traditional haircut, and for my nails I'm doing a french tip with a little hibiscus flower design)

My original outfits where TBH quite revealing. Typically just being my bathing suit with a cover up and a skirt for when we walk around town. Which if we are getting photos which we will cherish for a lifetime I'm pivoting for more modest outfits.... I'm thinking a lot of sundresses so I don't risk comfortability just for trying to be cute?

I know we have a mixture of hiking, surfing, and a TON of eating plans. So I can't wear a sundress all of the time.... but I do plan on getting a new cute bathing suit and a matching activewear set just in case....

Those of you who kind of knew you were getting proposed to... what did you wear? I'm hoping to find some things that are still cute, but I can walk around in and not always have to be adjusting on my body.... (We live in a state that is cold year round so 75% of my wardrobe is sweaters and jeans 😭😭)

*UPDATE* yay! It’s only going to cost me $984 to fix the steering issue and rear window!!! Definitely keeping the car. So happy this all sorted itself out!!! - the steering fix only cost I think $350? The rest was for replacing the rear window. Overall for Tesla this was a CHEAP fix!!! Considering they quoted a swollen lug replacement to be $900 in the past 😭😭😭 (idk what swollen lugs are, must be pretty serious lol)

*end of update***Okay, I know this is all hypothetical. But I would be hopeful I could get some of your opinions on this.

-I have a 2014 Tesla Model S, it is fully paid off. 170k miles. New tires (only 1,800 miles on them), I have the Gen 2 (upgraded) screen, so I have all the games, careoke, things like that. The big kicker is I have lifetime supercharging, and it has self driving that I don't have to pay a subscription to use (but it is the basic, like it really only works on highways/freeways or long straight streches.

-My car has been having some issues with suspension and this morning when I went to work, the wheel was hard to turn and choppy. (1st 1/4 was tough to turn left and right, then it would be fine, and then to turn anything more then 45 degrees had to take 2 hands and all my weight)

-All 4 of my windows are broken (Rear left won't roll up so I manually pull it up every day) and my front 2 windows roll down great. But when I go to roll them up, you have to stutter the window otherwise it will roll back down.... (I have gotten these fixed twice by the Tesla repair shop and it keeps breaking, which is why I didn't take the car in for repair on this)

-Also my rear handles don't work when it gets hotter than 80 degrees outside. (they present out, but you can't open the door) (I have gotten this fixed once by the Tesla repair shop and this is the 2nd time it broke, which is why I didn't take the car in for repair on this, also because I don't really use the back handles at all because it's only me and my boyfriend)

-With my power steering or drive shaft finally going out on me. I'm taking the car to the repair shop. My dad wants me to potentially trade the car in. But the lifetime supercharging is HUGE for me, I use it weekly as I drive 150-200 miles a day, and I can't make it to my home at night without it on Wednesdays due to my bowling legue being an hour from my home.

-Is there any possibility at all that if I trade my S for a Y (if my service bill is over $1,500 to repair everything) then tesla may feel bad for me and let me transfer my lifetime supercharging??? Normally they don't let people transfer. But since my car is going from being paid off - to I would then be signing up for a loan, they may do it as a sales promotion? I would pay the 8k for the self driving feature as well. As I plan on keeping the Y until the wheels literally fall off.

-Overall the hope is the repair will cost $1k or less and I can just keep my 2014 Model S. I LOVE that car. It has been my baby, and I know it doesn't seem like I take care of it but I get tire rotations every 3k miles, keep it clean. and I used to take it in for service the second the car needed it. But once I had to start taking it in for things that i already got repaired I stopped bringing it in.

Just to start, we were not planning or praying for this to happen. However, we aren’t upset about it. We do use condoms, however I’m not any birth control.

My partner and I just found out we are about 5 weeks pregnant. We live together, and are getting engaged soon (this summer). We were planning on getting married in fall 2027 or fall 2028. (NOTE: if we decide to have the baby, we will be going and getting legally married in court shortly after our engagement. We do not want to bring a baby into this world without us being legally “binded” to one another.)

We live together, in a home with a spare bedroom, but our finances currently are consistent. We are able to pay our bills and put *some* money to savings accounts. But it’s honestly not much (although my partner is actively looking for a change in job, which will gain an extra 2k+ a month, which is where we are planning on getting baby funds)

I personally feel like we are not financially ready. Mentally, we would both love dearly to be parents. And when I had a recent infertility scare (due to PCOS) we were quite sad for about a month time. Worried we would not be able to have a baby the traditional way.

My partner, feels as though if we terminate the pregnancy, that would carry on with him for the rest of his life and he would feel like he missed his opportunity as a father.

Personally, I would rather regret not having a kid, than regret having a kid (however, I don’t think I would “regret” having a kid in any manner, I’m just trying to think from all angles)

Our mothers essentially said the same thing. Word for word. “You are still incredibly young, and financially not ready, but we will be here for what you decide”. You could tell they were both on the fence closer to terminating.

I feel torn. I told my partner that if he can’t land a better job in 14 days, then we should not have this baby. It would not be responsible. And he is already trying to hard to get the job. If he doesn’t get the job, and we terminate - I worry he will blame himself. But on the flip side. This is our first test as parents. If we can’t “man up” and get shit done - then I don’t think we are ready yet. But am I trying to excuse reality and not take responsibility of our actions?

I feel like a mess. So if any of this doesn’t make sense I can add information. But for now - I think this is the short summary of how I am feeling (and I’m not trying to make people on the internet make the decision for me, I’m simply trying to get views/opinions from each angle)

Just to preface I am 21F and my boyfriend is 22M, we have lived together for a year. and been together for 3 years this summer.

From recent whisperings between boyfriends parents, and his brother, I have recently discovered I am getting engaged soon!!! (YAY!)

My partner spoke to me about 3 months ago about rings and we went to try some on, during this time he expressed that his mom has a ring from her previous marriage (the one prior to her marriage to my boyfriends dad). As far as I know, it is a round diamond with a simple gold band. I think what my partner was hinting at was for him to use the ring, just resized.... (He expressed that it is a real diamond, not lab grown, so it would be worth a lot more than anything he could afford)

The ring I have showed him that I would like is a $500 ring off of Etsy, it's a teardrop/pear ring with a simple gold band. (I'm asking for something on the lower end of price for rings since I ALWAYS loose rings, so I would hate for him to pay thousands on a ring just for me to loose it in the first year)

The ring has come up a few times, and every time he brings up his mom's ring I tell him it would mean a lot to me if he proposed with a ring that fit my style, in addition, I am quite a superstitious person - and being proposed to with a ring/diamond that came out of a "failed" marriage just doesn't sit right with me.... I feel like it's a bad memento. But my partner has reassured me that no ring is going to make our marriage fail as it won't change anything about the people we are.

As we get closer to when he may propose, I grow fearful that he will propose with his mom's ring, and my reaction when he opens that ring box will be something that sours the moment. Either way - I am going to be overjoyed by the proposal, the act of him getting on one knee speaks mountains more than any ring he could have in that box. However, he has gotten bad haircuts before - and as hard as I try to smile and tell him he is still as handsome as ever - he can see straight through me. Most of the time he can tell my emotion from miles away. He has a gift.

Am I overreacting? It's just a ring. But then at the same time, it is the ring that will be with me for the rest of my life, something that represents the love and devotion I have to him, so I don't want that symbol to be something I "settled" for. And I really don't want to just buy a new ring. To me, there is something symbolic about the ring he picks out, that he orders, and that he has planned. But I think his mom is just trying to save him a few bucks.....

Also - financially, my partner is in a good financial setting. He has a stable job, we split all of the home bills (and have access to each others personal bank accounts), he goes out to eat all the time, pays for video games, goes out to do activities with his friends, and buy new hobby materials and things to fulfill his materialistic need. So for a $500 ring for his future wife shouldn't be a immense amount of pain.... right?!?!....

One last thing - if this ring was a family heirloom, that would make the worlds entirely different for me, I am joining a family and continuing a lineage, so of course I would gladly boast that ring if it was a family heirloom. But it is not. It is a ring that was tossed in the back of a jewelry box after a divorce and not thought of again until my boyfriend told his parents he was going to propose....

Am I being greedy?.... I feel greedy when I talk about this so I try not to tell him how I feel about his moms ring (other than the first time he brought it up)