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Does anyone else’s mum do this? To play the victim, they say they are scared of you. For context, the reason why i’m so scary is just because i’ve been cold towards her lately. I’m a 17 year old girl. I didn’t shout at her or throw anything. I never do.
If my username rings a bell, yes i am the girl who wrote that post about my creepy neighbour. Anyways
She’s been doing a bunch of very petty things. Like looking though my jewellery box. She wears my shoes and my clothes after i explicitly ask her not to. She comes into my room 5~ times every morning to wake me up (she just stands there and starts talking to me candidly, like trying to initiate a full on conversation whilst i’m asleep, and when i don’t respond or pretend to be asleep after she’s woken me up with her incessant rambling she’ll repeat things like “cmon” “i need you to help around the house” repeatedly. It’s 9am. It’s summer. I would understand if it was 1. But it’s 9. One morning i tested her and asked her, okay, what do you need help with? She started to buffer, trying to come up with some chores. She ended up saying 2 that didn’t need doing urgently at all.
She said she was “scared” to talk to me. I asked her why. Why would a middle aged woman be scared of her teenage daughter? How am i scary for giving her short responses and not feeling enthusiastic? She said because i was giving her the cold shoulder. You might be reading this and thinking, i understand where your mother comes from, but the way in which she said it was very fearful/pleading. It’s genuinely aggravating whenever she victimises herself.
She tried to reconcile today, but right as i was in the middle of eating and watching my show. Perhaps i was unnecessarily snappy with her, because i asked her if we could do this another time. My mum did this to my sister often too, when she still lived with us. She would often (and still does) claim that my sister is scary, and has out of control outbursts, and has no anger management. Looking back my sister was just getting upset because of her.
I honestly can’t be fucking bothered with any “communication” with her anymore because it always falls flat. She just does it to keep up appearances with the family. She never actually listens to me or respects what i have to say. She never improves or changes. Nothing changes. It’s always a waste of time. Whenever I criticise her actions she immediately walks off. Like, she physically walks off and tells me “i won’t be bullied by you” (verbatim)
This woman has singlehandedly spearheaded my severe mental health issues and my awful body image. God give me strength. This house is laced with toxic energy.
Unfortunately this subreddit doesn’t allow pictures, but i covered my window. Now the little shit can see a bin bag instead of my family! Thank you for all the support. It feels really odd having people respond so seriously. I found myself doubting if this was actually a serious issue, if she was actually being weird. But i have clear vision now. Whenever she treats me weirdly i ask myself if i would treat the little boy i babysit the same way. He’s like a baby brother to me. Imagining him in the same scenario i am in, my response would be vastly different from my mum’s. Even the scenario is making me angry. It’s just crazy how my mum couldn’t care less.
Anyways, until the film gets here there bin bag will do very nicely. If i squint my eyes i can’t even tell the difference. (The bin bag is white so with the light shining through it looks like frosted glass).
I’m not sure if it’s the menopause or what but my mum is off her rocker. It’s gotten 10x worse but it’s always been bad. She’s always been pretty neglectful now that i’m looking back. But i think now that my sister and i are leaving the nest she’s losing her mind. Something to do with control and us maturing and being able to tell her NO, being able to get angry at her, and now that we are grown her actions have real life consequences. No more ignoring us until the morning after a fight. Recently, my older sister almost went no contact with my mum because she was bullying my sister’s best friend on a road trip we took together. It made my sister’s best friend cry. Imagine that, being stuck in a 6 hour road trip where your friend’s mum is constantly bullying you. Nightmare
Anyways i’ll shut up now because if i don’t stop i could go on forever about the shit we have to put up with. Thank you all have a wonderful day and remember that YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING!
💙💙💙
My bathroom has a window. At an angle, it faces my neighbours’s son’s bathroom. He can see when i shower and change. I sometimes catch him looking. It makes me very uncomfortable. I’ve noticed since i was 15. I’m now 17. So is he.
When i saw him watching for the first time i told my mum. She told me i was being paranoid and even said that it was impossible for him to see me, the way our houses face each other. Even though it is possible, even though i can see the inside of his room as he can see the inside of our bathroom. She told me no multiple times when i asked for her to buy privacy film for our windows. It costs $5.
Today she came to me complaining about how she caught him watching her change. She said it was disgusting and that it made her furious. I told her that we must buy some privacy film. She said no. I asked why the hell not. She ignored me and told me that if he wanted to be a pervert he could, that all he would see is her body (She was insinuating that her body isn’t nice to look at, or something). What about me and my sister? We also live here. I don’t care if my mum doesn’t think she deserves the dignity to not be watched as she changes, surely she feels protective about her daughters? Surely she thinks we deserve dignity?
My head is spinning and i feel ill. I’ve had to lie down. I feel so let down. And i feel very weirded out. It’s almost as if she wants him to watch. I feel gross even writing that. Everything feels confusing and gross.