Struggling with aging Somali Dad’s behavior
Asc Everyone,
I’m at a loss and could use some support. I’m a diaspora Somali woman in her 30’s and one set of my dad’s several batches of children.
My mom divorced him a decade ago and is living her best life, but he is absolutely embarrassing. He married a woman younger than his oldest daughter after my mom- divorced her after 4 kids.
He went on to marry and divorce a bunch of women- no kids, until he married a lady close to his age. Which was fine we all hoped he’d settle quietly with her and live out his life.
Nope.
Well, he divorced her and went back to Somalia and now at the ripe age of 70 he married a 19yo girl from a poor family- his youngest daughters are 16 & 19.
He was a respected elder in the community, and now he’s acting like a street rat. I’m a public-ish figure in the community and I’m so humiliated. Everyone is gossiping. I used to be so proud when people would ask “who’s your dad?” My uncles are all very respected people and my family is very prominent in our clan so all this feels like it’s fueling some level of “happy to seem them fall” i don’t know I could be imagining it.
I’m not the one to care about people’s opinions but I am really struggling with this one. All of us kids are highly educated (thanks to our moms). We siblings generally have a decent relationship.
It’s hard to share this with anyone bc I hate seeing people judge my lineage like that, and I’m an extremely private person. All his friends are professional men that are retired from very senior positions and all raised nuclear families. We always envied them for their stable lives, but Allah Yarziqna.
Any words of empathy, support, or compassion just du’aa would help.