Raised to be ugly
23f, I usually don’t or don’t try to not think of my pass childhood bc i cannot change anything. But lately, my mind has me thinking about how, I had a pretty face at (7-8) and potential if I didn’t have neglectful parents who teach me like basic self up keep (at least hygiene), lost weight as a child instead of making fun of me for it, and keep me socialize instead of being isolated/awkward. Damn it I would’ve been pretty
Growing up big, my family make slick comment like I would get slice of cake, I would just hear “ ooh look at her now, just stalking the cake” or my cousin would call me “Amazon” (I thought she was referring to my height but it was my weight) Yet still made the unhealthy food that made me fat in the first place & would let me overeat.
I wasn’t taught about intimate hygiene and my mother would call me “pissy” for my overwhelming down there odor until I learned that I had chronic BV and started waxing bc I was really hairy. She could at least could’ve took me shopping for girly clothes other than oversized men t shirts and wide jeans.
I became lazy and numb bc I burdened peoples time when I was the last one to pick up at any events. Most performance I had she didn’t show up due to work, or she bring her insufferable bf (at the time) who would purposely ruin my day, so I gave up on doing anything and spent most days on the alone, practically isolated, on computer or boredom eating. Which make me feel loss all my spark.
Now wishing that I was more concerned about my looks then instead of now and I look at the damage I’ve done to my body.