u/Probwfls

Dads,

This is part vent and part earnest request for advice, so bear with me:

My wife and I moved to a semi-rural area about 1.5 hours from a major East Coast city about 2 years ago. Our son had just turned 1 at the time and we’ve since added another boy who is 5 months. As we integrate into the community (a mix of longtime residents and newer arrivals - mostly remote or hybrid workers), we’ve obviously made an effort to meet other parents and build a village, as they say.

I notice a very distinct pattern among parents that we meet and sometimes try to hang out with: outgoing, sweet-as-pie Mom and extreme introvert dad. Looks miserable, can’t get a word out of him, hanging out is basically the equivalent of staring at drywall for 3 hours. Obviously wives will talk to each other largely so I get stuck with these guys and frankly it sucks.

There is probably some cultural influence at play but I find it pretty easy to make basic small talk about the area, where we’re from, our experiences as dads, taking care of our new country properties, etc…it’s fine if we don’t have anything actually in common but let’s make the best of the situation. I get it’s very likely not about me but fuck…it’s just legitimately rude in a lot of cases. I end up just playing with my toddler who apparently has better conversation skills than these guys.

I know there are probably dads that lean more introverted on here - what can I do to help these guys loosen up or feel more comfortable? Just trying to make the best of these interactions, not turn them into lifelong friends.

As the title says, I’m looking for advice on what to do with my lease.

I signed onto a 36-month, 30k mile agreement for a new Honda Passport in December 2024. I had just moved to a new, semi-rural area and was unsure what my day to day lifestyle would require as far as driving - obviously I guessed wrong (also had an unexpected in-office requirement for a while that had me commuting 150 miles a day).

Right now I have about 250 miles left before I’m over my limit. I called about an early termination but dealership said they don’t typically entertain that until the one year mark (did offer to appraise it anyway but it’ll be up to the financing company).

Should I pursue that? Buy it out and sell it to try and break even? Just grin and bear the per-mile overage costs for a few months? I have a newborn going into daycare soon so trying to be cautious financially.

Any and all insights are welcome.

Just had to share a little anecdote from my round over the weekend. Unlike anything I’ve experienced before.

I’m out at my local muni for a round with a buddy. One single with us and we’re behind a foursome of two early 20s guys and two in their 50s. As soon as I got a look at them from the first tee I knew it would be a longer day unless we could play through - not a huge deal as that’s common at a public on the weekend.

They display some odd cart management throughout but nothing egregious. The 9th tee is where it got weird.

One of the older guys, very disheveled looking in a flannel short sleeve and no hat, tops a drive about 80 yards. He drives up to it, locates, and then begins a very slow walk back toward us. I am just getting onto the box so I ask if he forgot a club - he says no, my tee. He keeps mumbling and looking around - I ask if he wants one of mine…no. “Is it a lucky tee or something?”….”No.”

Ummm ok - we’re tracking on a 5-hour round here and you’re looking for a 10-cent tee. Eventually he picks one up, says it’s not the one but it’ll do. Begins the slow walk back to his ball, tees it up in the rough and shanks another driver 35 yards. I told the ranger 3 holes later just for the story and he was cracking up.

One for the books. I love weekend public golf.

My wife and I welcomed our second son almost 2 weeks ago (oldest is 2.5). I’m lucky enough to be off 5 weeks so we’ve been home together which is generally nice, but we have a recurring issue with some rage from her - not yelling necessarily but basically treating me with a high high level of obvious disdain.

We also dealt with this the first time around and it was really rough. She acknowledges it but not in a way that really assumes responsibility for it (I know it is hormone driven as well) - she writes off as well it was the first time and she had job stress/uncertainty, etc…I was hoping things might be better this time around.

Examples from the last couple days:

- we had a tough night with the newborn and were without daycare - both dead tired. I felt we did a good job splitting duties in the morning and getting out the door to take toddler to a playground. On the way there I got a little grumpy with the Dunkin guy for messing up an order. She proceeded to flip on me and tell me my energy is horrible, I’m not supporting her, I have no right and I’m being selfish and making things difficult for her by…being tired and not talking much I guess?
- she expressed concern about my older son making a couple “i don’t like mama” type comments. I was very supportive and told her he loves her and is just adjusting. I then suggested she take him out somewhere the two of them tomorrow afternoon (I had planned to take him grocery shopping with me earlier in the day). She aggressively rolls her eves, scoffs and says grocery shopping is in the afternoon. I asked her to be aware if her tone and she again lit into me, saying I have no sympathy for her, etc…

I’m very aware I need to be coming from an empathetic place. I think this would be easier for me if she was crying all the time vs the anger - I get a bit reactive when I feel directly disrespected with the eye rolling, aggressive micromanaging of basic tasks I’ve been doing for years, and the like.

Anyone experienced this? I don’t want to have to do this another 7-8 months like last time. Should I ask her to bring it up with her doctor? Not sure how that will go over.