I have no sympathy, empathy - just complete apathy
My dx husband is raw dogging his ADHD. He was was diagnosed almost 2.5 years ago and after the initial 6 months where he was trialling various medications with his Psychiatrist until he found the "right" one, he stopped any form of therapy, doesn't take medication and does absolutely nothing to improve his life and help his condition.
I am at the point where I simply do not care about his ADHD. I can't accept it as an excuse for his complete and utter disregard for his own wellbeing and how much that impacts me, our marriage and also our children, and family life in general.
I have my own mental health diagnosis and physical disability. I am doing my best to manage the home and my children (also dx) and I have no energy to be there for him.
Is this the normal that has to be accepted/tolerated in these relationships? Are we supposed to just go on with it?
I sometimes feel intense guilt for feeling this level of nothing towards him, but also don't know how I could build up the energy to care. I don't want to be his executive function. I don't want to have to remind him to do this and that. I just fkn want him to do something. And yes, I am in therapy myself but my resentment runs insanely deep.
And he will act like the smallest support he provides is HUGE, like he did the dishes twice last month. Amazing but I am not clapping for that. I don't even see that as support. The bar is so low.
I am really struggling to work out how to be seen or heard in this relationship. Does it happen? Can an ADHD spouse meet your needs ever?