Am I gay, or am I obsessed?
Hello everyone. About two months ago, I started obsessing over a recurring experience from my adolescence. I don't remember the exact dates, but whenever I was play-fighting or tickling each other with my brother, I would experience involuntary erections. Back then, I didn't pay much attention to it, but lately, I’ve been constantly worrying about it—asking myself if this means I’m gay or even a pedophile.
Now, absurd thoughts like 'What if I am attracted to this man?' constantly flood my mind. Because of this intense fear, I can’t even look at men anymore and I feel a deep sense of shame around them, constantly questioning my sexual orientation. I seem to recall having similar anxious thoughts during puberty as well.
My brother is male, and I actually built up the courage to tell my family about this. They reassured me, saying these kinds of mechanical, involuntary bodily responses happen during puberty, but I still feel an overwhelming sense of shame. I often view myself as a bad person and wonder why I’m going through this torture.
I’m completely exhausted by this constant mental loop. Could you please help me? Has anyone else experienced this type of OCD theme, and what should I do to overcome it