MIL Problem
I got married. It was a love marriage. Soon after I got pregnant. I never liked kitchen work and after marriage taking dil as granted for cooking made me hate it even more.
So after marriage she forced many things on me like nose piercing, which I denied, waking up early to help her in the kitchen, doing all the makeup of an indian DIL, wearing suit at home, which I denied. Forcing me into all this and more made me bitter towards her. Calling my mom n dad on every festival to get things by saying that these are mandatory and many other things. All this led to our relationship to a hate one especially from my side.
All the superstition that she used to pour on me that this will happen if you don’t do this that will happen and bla bla.
Even when I was pregnant I cried many times because of her. She made me take my clothes off on a festival and made me wear a saree.
I used to go to office during my pregnancy and never felt coming back home because of her. Also whenever I used to react when I didn’t like any of her things by not talking to her she used to play and till now plays victim card by crying and keeping herself in a room.
Also after marriage we were given a small room so we made our bedroom on first floor to which she never knocks till date. Just enters on her own will. Even after the upper floor made till the time I was pregnant I used to go down and sit with them, but somehow I never liked how she spoke to me by giving taunts in every other sentence. Atleast that’s how I felt.
She has a different tone for me and my husband.
After I delivered the baby and that puja happened for the baby my mother came with the gifts.
My mother decorated all the things in wooden boxes. She made her remove all those even after me asking not to because some month was going on in which they don’t bring wood according to her superstition.
I had C-sec. I delivered my baby at my in-laws place. So I had to live there for 2 months for my health. As the time of 2 months was coming to end she started expecting me to make food or roti which is around 15-16 rotis at a time.
Earlier when I was didn’t come to the house she was managing everything including cooking and stuff and suddenly after marriage she was not able to do it. So we hired a cook for evening.
During my pregnancy she hired a cleaning maid for our upper portion to which I used to pay.
Now my baby is 1yr old. I do all the things for my baby as we don’t have nanny. Right from breastfeeding her every now n then to potty cleaning. My husband helps but then all the burden is on me.
So my baby keeps on waking up 4-5 times at night and then once the morning starts I do everything for my baby including cooking food for her and snacks and cleaning my upper portion on my own.
So my schedule goes like I take my baby downstairs once she is awake and prepare brkfast for her which is around 10:30am. After that I take her up stairs and feed her, bathe her, massage her which takes around 3 hrs and it’s already 1pm. After that I prioritize cleaning my upper portion by myself when she is sleeping. Once it’s done some days I get a nap and some days she gets up and I have to feed her. This feeding and playing takes around 3pm sometimes 4. After that I take her down and come back upstairs to have a bath and get other things done. After that she comes up we play a little and then we go downstairs and i cook for her while our cook cooks for us. At around 8pm I give her dinner and then she sleeps till 10pm
Now my MIL wants me to cook food for her in the afternoon which is the only task she does because maid comes on lower floor for cleaning and utensils. She also complains that I don’t do downstairs and sit and talk to everyone and her, which is because one I don’t have enough time and 2 because I simply don’t like her and talking to her.
Every now n then she creates this similar problem pf my behaviour and cooking which takes a toll on my mental health.
Also she takes money from us to run the house which I don’t have a problem with but it feels a maid to me to cook for the house while she gets to keep all the money and only manage the house.
If she really wants me to cook I should feel like the menber of the family that will happen while giving me the money to manage the kitchen which she keeps to herself. None of her son cooks.
When she cooks she makes sure her husband and my fil helps in the kitchen and he does everytime.
Also maybe because of breastfeeding my weight has significantly dropped and I feel weak and dizzy most of the time.
What should I do?
PS - I hate cooking