u/Professional_Put7701

I am only 20 My mom has had Parkinson's for 11 years, My mom is only 52.

She is declining, she is angry, she is short. My parents were always very in love, now they hardly speak, they only argue. My mom doesn't seem to care much about me anymore. My mom doesn't smile

I am only 20 and I am watching my mom leave me slowly and watching my dad lose the love of his life, I'm watching him get beat down from the disease, I'm watching her get beat down from the disease

I just want to cry all the time. I have nobody to talk to about this. I go to college away from home, I am scared what will happen to their relationship with no kids left to tether them. I am so sad. I wish life wasn't so unfair. I wish I didn't know this kind of sorrow. And I just want to be happy again, and I don't know how when this is all I can think about.

hi

my mother was diagnosed when i was about 8. she has been living with parkinsons disease for 12 years now. she has stayed active, maintained resolve, and is not a quitter. she had to retire, despite having a very successful career, and i know she resents that. she is unhappy i think, but she tries to stay active and be a good sport.

She has always been stubborn/hotheaded. recently it feels like i cannot do anything right. i am going back to college soon, and she is constantly snapping at me, yelling at me, whatever. thats fine, i try to be as patient as possible with her. i just want to know how to deal. she says extremely rude, out of pocket things, and she just doesnt feel like the mom i used to have. she is unkind to me, she doesnt care about my life, i cant remember the last time she hugged me (i hug her many many times) and she just doesnt act like how i remember my mom acting. the person she is isnt reconcilable with the idea of how a mom should act, or even how she acted when she still tried to be a mom. she is always yelling snapping irritated. i feel like im grieving and shes still right here and i cant reach her. for reference she is still active but her gait is affected and her tremors are definitely noticeable. i have nobody to talk to about this, but it makes me so so so sad. i just want my mom back. and i am trying to be empathetic i know this is something i cant imagine going through but i dont want to be at the receiving end of it anymore, i just want to feel like my mom loves, or even likes me again. everything is so unfair everyone my age has happy, healthy parents and i just wish i could make her happy. i dont know what to do anymore because i try to take it and be patient and just throw out bids for affection i dont want her to feel lonely as now she is an empty nester with my dad (who is also very patient with her) but i am at my wits end where i feel like i cannot talk to her. i dont know what to do at all. any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

Hi,

So i recently started the LC 250. I have done leetcode before, but not as seriously as I should have. Either way, I am on the topics of Linked Lists. And I have done leetcode consistently for 40 days now. I don't feel any smarter, better, and every question still has the potential to stump me.

Does this go away? How to feel like I'm making real change in my ability to leetcode?

hi all; don't really have people in my life that i can talk to about this so i'm venting here. if anyone has advice id love to hear it.

im 20f right now, and my mother was diagnosed when i was about 7. she is 53 now.

im home for the summer, and it is clear to me that her parkinsons getting worse. i feel deeply for her, and i help her in any way i can, try to be there for her, am exceedingly patient. maybe this is a biased view, but in my mind, i am trying to be the best daughter i can.
my mom is totally badass and doesnt ever let this disease best her. ie she is physically active, she is socially active, and she generally lives her life saying f*ck parkinsons every day, which is admirable, and i know it is harder than i can imagine.

however, my mom is not the person i remember her being. she is mean, she is cranky, and she begins days so angrily - yelling incessantly - and i just dont know what to do. sometimes my mom is in a good mood, sometimes she wants to chat with me, sometimes i see her smile. most of the time she barks orders at me, yells complaints, or snaps. the other day, she told me ive "already fucked my life up and that im nobody to be proud of". it really gets to me when she says stuff like that. im coming to terms with her personality, because deep down even though i do this stuff to help her and ease her pain, its because im also vying for some ounce of motherly attention or motherly love. i see my peers interact with their moms and im just like wow. i wish i still had that. i remember how she was before this, and i see that personality less frequently and less frequently every week that passes. if i get up and go wish her good morning and give her a hug with a smile on my face, she'll snap "what do you want."

im coming to terms with the fact that my mother figure is changing, and i have to accept that, but how can i? im trying my hardest to stay steadfast, but i obviously yearn for who she was and miss her everyday. at the same time, my complaints make me feel guilty/spoiled. who am i to even ask for anything, when she is the one suffering?

i miss my mom, and at the same time i feel guilty for doing so.

hi everyone,

for reference, i go to a good college and i study hard. i have worked hard for the past school year, but as it ends, nothing has really panned out for me. a lot of my peers are much more successful than i am in their job hunt, and despite working hard, i just didnt do well, which is on me. on top of that, its impossible for me to stop comparing myself to my peers; i go to a great university, and it seems like everyone is constantly going above and beyond.

on top of that aspect of constantly feeling ashamed of what ive done and my lack of personal accomplishments, my mom is chronically sick. she's been diagnosed and declining for ten years, and she talks about how she will end her life medically soon so she doesnt have to suffer anymore. shes probably the closest person i have in my life and the toll these comments takes on my psyche is indescribable.

i dont know who to go to with this, or how to even get back on track. i know this isnt unique, but it feels so hard to feel this miserable everyday. looking for any advice to keep going

TW: SH

>!/spoiler ive been struggling w sh and suicidal thoughts for the past few months, and im going to begin seeing atherapist soon hopefully, but i wish i knew how else to stop feeling like tihs.!<

hi

Im trying to learn C! And I'm reading C for dummies and I'm excited. And if you're a guy above 5'7 that can do LRU cache in C easily feel free to hit me up