u/Proper_Cherry5225

Going back towards home from work, dead bodies of murdered victims showed on the screen of the bus. At work, an investor was talking about mountain sickness and my boss told I got it because I didn’t eat “meat” (dismembered murdered animal), despite recovering soon afterwards and working perfectly fine in high altitudes after my body became accustomed.

I don’t know why so many nonvegans tell the joke of “how do you know someone is a vegan” when always people around me find it out for the words of others, not mine. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t shy away from my veganism and I speak for the victims a lot through the internet and social media, but I know how freaking irrational the average person is and I just put a wall between activism and my immediate social surroundings in order to not become insane trying to reason with fucking walls.

Still, such a wall becomes paper thin more often than not. My mother called me once “sick in the head” for becoming vegan even if at the time was quiet about it… but how could it be? Why is not wanting to hurt animals the insane position? Why is being violent towards them normal? Every time I get some sort of health issue she says to me “see? you are eating unhealthy, you should be “more balanced”, despite a lot of times those problems being solved themselves or just a change in supplementation.

Being constantly the target of jokes, relatives treating your choices as a problem… why is not willful ignorance the actual issue? Why those who inform themselves and change for the better the issue? I swear I wonder how our species could go to the fucking moon and not get it that cutting heads off to eat body parts is fucking wrong!! There are days in which I want just to scream to everybody “the hell is wrong with you?! Abusing animals for products we don’t need is grossly immoral, you are the wrong one, not me!!! And yet, our societies gaslight us into thinking we are in the wrong.

And having no one in real life to talk about this... because everybody around you are human supremacists, literally everybody… no matter how much you try to reason with them, they turn their brains off, gaslight you and scapegoat you as soon as you start to make sense.

I am so tired of people’s bullshit. So tired of being lonely and ridiculed. Very, very hard of not becoming disgusted with our species.

I remember when I was a teenager, hearing about the Jewish holocaust and how evil it was to mass murder the innocent just for being from a different race, and that something like that should never happen ever again.

You hear it over and over again. Nazis are bad. Hitler was the devil himself. Every comparison with evil you heard your whole life involved the holocaust the nazis did to the jews… so you grow up thinking everybody is against violence towards the innocent, than torture and murder is wrong….

And suddenly, by a pathway all of us took by different means, you have a consciousness shift. Being a nazi is not frowned upon, but normal. Being violent towards the innocent is the norm. The only difference is with the victim. And if you try to wake people up to this fact, you either get mocked or become a target of insults.

But that is not even the hardest part of it. It is not the whole indoctrination of human supremacy you got since the day you were born and animals being mass murdered, that are bad enough things, but the fact that once you wake up, no one else wants to listen, they become numb and stop listening to you, like if you spoke a different language....

And one day you realize: People have no problems with being violent and causing injustices to others, as long as they have a benefit from it, and if they can get away from it.

It is beyond dystopic. It is so hard to not gaslight oneself and wanting to go back to that blissful state of ignorance, being among so much violence, so much cruelty, everyday, everywhere. But you can’t go back, you would become a holocaust supporter…

Seriously, most of days I can’t wake up without this awful feeling of something horribly wrong, and feeling completely hopeless, like if someone in order to stop a forest fire would borrow you a hose and say “go on, end the forest fire”.