Guys I'm having an existential crisis (a severe one)
Who am I without JEE? I genuinely don’t know anymore. For two years, every part of my existence was consumed by ranks, mock tests, cutoffs, and the constant pressure to prove myself. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being a person and became a machine built around one exam. My days, my sleep, my confidence, even my self-worth started depending on numbers on a screen. And now that it’s over, there’s this terrifying emptiness inside me. If I’m not preparing, stressing, solving questions, or chasing a rank, then what’s left of me? I forgot what it feels like to enjoy things without guilt. I forgot how to live without constantly measuring myself against others. The scariest part is realizing how deeply I tied my identity to an exam that may not even remember my name. Maybe that’s why this hurts so much — because it was never just about college. It became about validation, dignity, love, and the desperate hope that achieving something great would finally make me feel enough as a human being.
My nervous system also got resistance towards achievements.
My achievements somehow feel like obligations, something which i am not proud about.
please help