Im too financially unstable to have a baby rn and it kills me
hello to anyone reading this,
to be honest I don’t really know what it is I’m wanting to say here so it is a little rambley.
I’m 21 and my boyfriend is 22. we have been together for 3 years and he’s my person.
I was on birth control for just under two years - I got the implant around 9months into our relationship and stopped 6 months ago (because The side effects I had were too much) . we do not use any protection at the moment either. but we don’t have sex super often (it’ll be like 3 times in one week and then not again until a couple weeks later).
I’m currently completely lost in terms of career and we both work a part time job (we get anywhere from 14-35 hours ish a week) earning minimum wage. both of us live at his parents’ place and are in no financial position to have a baby anytime soon.
Besides all this, the only thing I’m certain of is I want to start a family with this man. I feel like a kid who has been told they get to go get ice-cream after school but my mum has only just dropped me to school.
I want to be a mother so bad. I know if we were financially stable we definitely would. the job market is terrible, I’ve been trying to get a full time job for a while now so I can leave my part time job.
the thing is whenever there has been a scare or tbh anytime it has come up in conversation that if I were to accidentally fall pregnant right now, he would ”lock in“ on getting a better job and sell all of his expensive stuff. and I know he would do good on his word. But also he seems to be in no rush to do it now. He has no desire to move out of his parents house and tbh I can’t blame him with this economy. we don’t pay any bills except buy our own food.
He doesn’t have much of an opinion (or is too scared to say) about if I were to fall pregnant at this point in time. he just always says it’s your body it’s completely your choice. I’m grateful to have a boyfriend who isn’t prolife but he’s so pro choice that he’s not even giving me his opinion.
i don’t think i could make a choice that life-changing all on my own. I know that no matter which he would support me but it’d be nice to know considering we aren’t doing anything to prevent it from happening.
I have spoken to my boyfriend about this plenty of times probably to the point that he’s bored of it.
my nan (mums mum) had 6 children and didn’t work and relied on benefits and (later on) her husband to raise her kids. my mum was a single mother my whole childhood but also studied for most of my life to try and break the cycle. she’s almost there now but we lived in poverty for my whole childhood. And as much as I had a great life and she provided everything she could for me, I don’t want that for me or my children.
im sorry this is so much rambling to anyone reading. being a mother is the only thing in life that im certain that i wanna be. I just don’t want to end up relying on benefits because I want to break the cycle.
im so torn because im one of 2 women in my whole family who hasn’t had a teenage pregnancy so I feel so behind in life for a multitude of reasons. i dream about being a mother every single day. I’m trying desperately to hold out for the sake of my future children. because it would be selfish of me to have a baby at this point in my life.
TL;DR - I desperately want to have a family with my boyfriend but we simply just don’t have the money rn.