I [30M] have known a girl [30] since 8 years and i dont know what to do ahead .
I have meet a girl around 8 years ago ,as we both had joined the same compamy in banglore.For the initial few months i was deeply in love with her and we used to spend a lot of time together. After 4 months i proposed her and got a very bad reaction from her ,she stating that she is in love with a guy whom she has met around 3-4 years ago and the guy is not her life right now but she will always love him. I was heartbroken and for the next one year we were still used to spend time together but i always used to feel heartbroken during that time. Eventually we had a fight because at a friends place as she was again discussing that boy with other people and i could not resisit it (as i and her was drunk ) but she told that i am not her boyfriend and stopped speaking with each other for next 6 months. Eventually we again got into contact after a few months. We used have fights due to one or the other reason during the span of rest of 6.5 years we has spoken with each other for around 2 years(in diffent times) and for rest of the time we were totally out of contact but when ever we were in contact we speak to each other all day ,everyday.From past 6 months we are again talking with each other all day. She has been searching for an arrange marriage setup from past 2 years now but she is not finding a match. I have not met her phiscally since covid. In the past 6 years i have told her once or twice that i had a soft corner for her but she has never ackowleged it. Recently we have been speaking with each other from past 6 months and she is asking me all the arranged marriage setup kind of questions(she may be asking ot generally but i cant figure it out). I have also supressed my feeling feeling for her but as we are talking all day everyday, i am getting carried away. In the past times i have seen a lot of situations in my family that my trust on arranged marriage setup has gone now .i feel that if i dont get this girl,i will never find any other girl.
Should i ask her once that whats in her mind and has she ever seen me with a romantic sight but it will hamper my talks with her or should i keep talking her as she is my escape for me for my other problems and i am hers. I am going through some other problem and needs a distraction.
What should i do ?