I don’t know what to do with my 35yo unemployed brother
I have a 35 year old brother who has never had a job in his entire life. He graduated from university and has lived with our parents ever since, with them paying for essentially everything.
He doesn’t have any intellectual or physical disabilities, but he has very strong social anxiety and struggles with interpersonal relationships, although he did have friends at school, so he isn’t completely unable to communicate with people. However, he seems unable to handle new environments, responsibility, or situations where he feels pressure.
My family isn’t extremely wealthy, but we are financially comfortable. Our parents paid for everything through university, and we both grew up without major financial difficulties.
My brother can do things he enjoys - he goes to concerts, goes shopping etc - but he avoids anything he finds stressful or uncomfortable. I feel ashamed that my 35 year old brother has never worked because he doesn’t want to take on responsibility, and that he is still living essentially the same life he did as a child. I’ve even hidden his situation from my friends. I recently got a partner, and I know I’ll eventually have to tell him about my brother. I’m already dreading that conversation.
I’m also very worried about what will happen when our parents die. I’m worried I may be expected to financially support him. That could affect not only my own life but also my future family’s life. My parents have some savings, but I don’t think they have enough to support another adult for the rest of his life.
I feel that unless my brother himself decides to change, nothing will change. However, my parents have been avoiding having a serious discussion about his future.
What should I do? If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d really appreciate hearing how you handled it, especially after your parents were no longer able to support your sibling.