What should i do?
(15m) hi I'm a madrasa student (soon to be "Was") but i really never wanted to be one my parents kinda forced in on my face but finally it's coming to an end even though they are not kinda happy about me not wanting to pursue this line of education but i don't really give a fk about it because it has mentally destroyed me! i have always pushed myself saying that "Just arektu tar por shesh just arektu" but now my mind isn't taking ts anymore it even got so bad i had anxiety attacks finally they listened to me because even the doctor said that i can't mentally take it anymore all this happened in september last year (2025) my mom and dad said that they would admit me in a school from 2026 fast forward now it's middle of december and i was just checking google news and an article popped up which was about the lottery results (the admission lottery) after reading it i found out that i had to submit my form in november i went to my mom and asked her about this i taught and found out she never wanted me to go to school and the promise before was just to calm me down at that time i was betrayed! and i stressed about it so much that i got my 3rd anxiety attack i was even admitted to the hospital finally after 3 anxiety attack so much mental issues and after wasting shit ton of money on doctors she finally gave up and truly agreed to my demands now here starts main problem which this post is about.
so because the lottery was over a looooong time ago i needed direct admission but i needed a school where i didn't have to attend classes since there's still a bit left for me to become a hafiz so my initial plan was i get admission in 7th i know should have been in 8th but i compromised a bit because i have never been to school so i needed time to catch up 5-6 years of education that i got but again my incompetent parents can't do shit and got me into 6th my mom got the books from school and said "Ne ekon jaa icha ta kor boi ene disi r amake kisu bolbina" but as everyone expects i can't do anything with those books because i have never even touched anything like that before english books where easy for me but still i didn't knew what to exactly remember and what's important for exams and let's just not talk about bangla. so i asked my mom for a teacher so she said to my 2nd sister to teach me after i come back from madrasa (my 2nd sister is currently was free at that time and had nothing to do now she's gonna be busy because her dental college and my eldest sister is in uni hostel) but she could not get me going so finally after a lot of convincing my mom decided to keep my 2nd sister old tuition teacher as my tuition teacher i like him a lot and love how he teaches also he's really close to our family so he knows me for a long time now and knows my situation well
now after a few months i can say i learned alot and i definitely like this line of education more than the shithole i was in before but my current problem/s are
1st: i don't know bangla well
2nd: i feel bad thinking about studying with damn kids
3rd: i don't really like bangladesh education system and actually tbh with all of you i don't even want to live here
so the solutions i came with is
1st: switch to EM before SSC
2nd: somehow skip 7th
my question is when is the last time i can switch to EM and changes and difficulties should i expect? and how can i skip 7th or maybe even better skip 8th as well and get to EM 9th (getting a bit greedy there hehe) also to make it clear i'm not that passionate about studies i can't really catch up to the people who have been in this sector since the starting i'm just trying to do this for the love of the game i don't have any dream to become a Doctor or engineer or anything i don't like corporate jobs either (i hate them) i've told my parents about that as well told my dad that i would like to do some business or stuff like that also my both of my sisters are gonna be well settled so i don't have any responsibility whatsoever i kinda hate them as well so IDC! i can't take too much stress so i don't like to think or talk about these and just try to have a low cortisol level and not care about these stuff but knowing how incompetent my parents are at the end of the day they will just blame it on me for everything that's why i decided to post this.
edit: I just wanted to make it clear that I want to go abroad and settle down there; that's one of the reasons I want to switch to English Medium.