u/Pure_Fix_9522

While today marks week 3 of ending my LDR, I realize I have learned A LOT, and I would like to share. This is more of a reflection post for me, yet I hope it helps others.

1. Communication is everything!

2. Really take the time to understand areas of compatibility - How do you both feel about communication? Travel? Future plans? Friends? Faith? Money? Physical Intimacy

3. Quality Time is essential! Make sure you both can work together to find a quality time schedule that works for both of you.

4. Things will happen and come up; talk it out. For me, that means over the phone, not text.

5. How are your partner's actions matching their words? Matching is important.

6. Consistency is key.

7. Show up in your relationship. Don't make silent sacrifices or so many compromises that you lose yourself.

8. Trust the patterns of their actions.

9. Argue and disagree in respectful ways.

10. Repair well.

Bonus: Work with a coach and/or therapist to support you as you navigate and decide on how you want to show up in the relationship.

Bonus x2: Closing the gap is important, yet should not be the core of the whole relationship. Be sure to build and nurture the relationship, not just plan to close the gap.

That's all. As I reread my list, I cackle, knowing it sounds like pop psychology and applies to many relationships, yet my goodness, these all jumped out at me this time around.

I wish everyone well in their LDR journeys.

Happy LDRing and finding love!

Greetings,

​

I (34f) and my partner (38m) are in an LDR. We're of two different nationalities, and in two different nations (Japan and the USA). We met online and clicked. We're continuing to learn each other, yet my previous LDR was ONLY 2 hours away and we met swiftly. Connecting is long messages in the morning/evening about 6 per day and a phone call each week. This is vastly different for me who is used to having my partner to connect with in-person. I do appreciate that he is clear about what he wants, we have already discussed closing the gap, visits, and more.

​

What supportive and encouraging tips might you have for me as I navigate this new space?

​

Also, side note, does anyone else feel like getting to know each other in an LDR is like u-hauling for lesbians? Lol, I have now been in both of those relationship types.

​

Final note: I have NEVER been so quiet about a relationship. I have no desire for more people to say, "but he's so far away!" It's so unhelpful, like duh, I know.