u/PurpleRains392

Idek how to find the real ones anymore. How do you all handle this.

We’ve been together almost five years. This weekend we had a get together with his business friends. His business partner mentioned meeting a girl (let’s say name is Brenda) as though it should mean something to my partner. (Just my intuition). My partner said okay. How’s she? Then the topic changed.
I’ve always been insecure about him. He travels a lot for work but he’s considerate and affectionate to me. I asked about Brenda on the way home. He said it was the sales rep of a company they used to use.
We had an argument about something else. At some point I accused him of not loving me. And he said I care about you a lot. I thought it was an interesting thing to say. Not I love you. I care about you. So I asked him if he ever loved someone . He said yes, possibility existed but he chose not to. Because his life is with me. We were married (arranged marriage ) 5 years ago. I asked him if it’s Brenda. He said yes. The whole story is he chose to honor the marriage because he felt loyalty and affection for me. I’m confused. How is it possible to love her and feel affection for me?
He says he never sought her out after that. he used another partner firm. I checked his phone. No messages from her. Checked the deleted folders. Checked email. No communication between them.
But I still feel cheated, and I am scared . He says feelings happen but he chose not to follow that because our marriage comes first. I asked him if he ever went out with her or talked with her. He said only as much as the business required.

I’m afraid that if I tell him I want to separate he actually will. I don’t want to lose him because I really love him.

Am I overthinking this?