u/PutridHalf4353

Hello all, this is my first Reddit post and I am hoping that I might be able to get some outside advice on how I should approach my current situation. (I apologize in advance if this might not be the best place to post this and can certainly remove this post if asked to)

For some context, my partner and I have been together for 2 years now, are recently engaged, and have recently purchased and moved into our new house together as of the end of March.

Kids have always been something that we have discussed having, and I had believed we were on the same page about it in terms of when we would start trying, preferably being between 23-26, until recently-

As of January of this year, I was diagnosed with Lean PCOS and I underwent an exploratory Laparoscopy several months ago that also confirmed the existence of Endometriosis surrounding my Uterus as well.
Since then I have been under close observation from my OBGYN team and will have to be undergoing both a Hysteroscopy and an operative Laparoscopy next month to clear my reproductive tract from an excess amount of cysts and scar tissue in an effort to give myself a fighting chance at being able to conceive.

With all of this in mind, I have been heavily advised by my doctors that we start trying as soon as I have healed from my surgeries, which would be early to mid July, before the Cysts have the chance to return.

Now that we have been given a short window of opportunity I feel motivated to put 100% of myself into this and listen to my doctor’s advice to start trying as soon as possible for us; but my partner doesn‘t seem to be as motivated.

Prior to these diagnosis, he had apparently assumed that he still had 2-3 years before we’d be actively trying- and since all of this has started he has started saying things like “I don’t even care if we never have children at this point, I just want you to be healthy“-which can sound supportive at face value, but the way he says it to me makes me feel disheartened; like all of my efforts to go through these surgeries to prolong the life of my uterus so that we can even have a chance to have the baby we’ve always talked about is pointless.

Like he would rather not even try at all and allow his uncomfortably at becoming a father younger than he anticipated outweigh his desire to become a parent with me.

I love my partner so very dearly, and I don’t want to make him feel like he’s forced to do something he doesn’t have his whole heart in and create resentment between us, but at the same time I’ve always dreamed of becoming a Mommy, and even if it doesn’t end up panning out in the end, I want to give it the best shot that I can before I wave the white flag.

How much longer should I wait for him to be ready? Am I being too harsh in my determination to become a Mom at this point? How would you approach this situation if you were in my shoes?

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Hello all, this is my first Reddit post and I am hoping that I might be able to get some outside advice on how I should approach my current situation.

For some context, my partner and I have been together for 2 years now, are recently engaged, and have recently purchased and moved into our new house together as of the end of March.

Kids have always been something that we have discussed having, and I had believed we were on the same page about it in terms of when we would start trying, preferably being between 23-26, until recently-

As of January of this year, I was diagnosed with Lean PCOS and I underwent an exploratory Laparoscopy several months ago that also confirmed the existence of Endometriosis surrounding my Uterus as well.
Since then I have been under close observation from my OBGYN team and will have to be undergoing both a Hysteroscopy and an operative Laparoscopy next month to clear my reproductive tract from an excess amount of cysts and scar tissue in the hopes of giving myself a fighting chance at being able to conceive.

With all of this in mind, I have been heavily advised by my doctors that we start trying as soon as I have healed from my surgeries, which would be early to mid July, before the Cysts have the chance to return.

Now that we have been given a short window of opportunity I feel motivated to out 100% of myself into this and listen to my doctor’s advice to start trying as soon as possible for us; but my partner doesn‘t seem to be as motivated.

Prior to these diagnosis, he had apparently assumed that he still had 2-3 years before we’d be actively trying- and since all of this has started he has started saying things like “I don’t even care if we never have children at this point, I just want you to be healthy“-which can sound supportive at face value, but the way he says it to me makes me feel disheartened; like all of my efforts to go through these surgeries to prolong the life of my uterus so that we can even have a chance to have the baby we’ve always talked about is pointless.

Like he would rather not even try at all and allow his uncomfortably at becoming a father younger than he anticipated outweigh his desire to become a parent with me.

I love my partner so very dearly, and I don’t want to make him feel like he’s forced to do something he doesn’t have his whole heart in and create resentment between us, but at the same time I’ve always dreamed of becoming a Mommy, and even if it doesn’t end up panning out in the end, I want to give it the best shot that I can before I wave the white flag.

How much longer should I wait for him to be ready? Am I being too harsh in my determination to become a Mom at this point? How would you approach this situation if you were in my shoes?

Any and all advice is appreciated.