u/Putrid_Carry3088

So, before I get to the reason, I have been with my fiancée since the end of 2023 but I’ve known her since 2021. I have been living with her and her parents since. I am 29 years old and she is 25; I moved in with her because I was in a financial situation due to moving to my previous location working at a pretty much a low-paying dead end welding job and taking care of my grandmother at the time who decided she was going to move back to Texas to live with her friends and that left me to stay where I was at with no where else to go. We also have a child who we adopted from one of her co-worker due to legal troubles.

December of 2023 comes around and her and her parents knew of my situation and they let me move in with her and them. At first I thought “Hey, this girl and I are pursuing a life together, I moved into a big city and I can land a really good career for her and I to get our own house.” That wasn’t the case after a year and a half later when we had an argument which involved her parents (mind you all, her mother has tons of health issues), her mother effectively said “My daughter can not leave my house, I refuse because she is my full time care taker and I need her help, she will stay with me.” Yes, her mother is married but the guy is the definition of a deadbeat husband because he will not do anything that involves his wife’s wellbeing unless she is yelling at him at the top of her lungs, he only cares about working Monday-Thursday, coming home and running towards his office to play his computer until he lays down to sleep for work, weekends off he wakes up and lives on the computer until midnight. You can not expect this man to do anything for his family out of his own liberty or without him being mad at the world that he can’t be staring at pixels.

A few months ago my fiancée and I had an argument, I told her I can not keep staying in their home and consistently be the one paying all of the bills, and digging into overdrafts. I mentioned that the household needs to learn budgeting because I’m lucky enough if I have $60 to myself after getting fuel from the money I work for. Now, just two weeks ago she wants to get married this year and I asked her “do you think it is wise for us to get married right now? I have $6,000 in debt and you have $4,000. I feel like us planning a $10,000 wedding is ridiculous before clearing our debt and we continue to live with your parents.”

Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful for the house they opened up to me, but I am stressed out about finances, and the lack of any self-freedom. Her parents make a decent income of at least $6,000 a month plus my $3,500 but the flow of cash leaving exceeds what’s coming in due to wasteful spending. I can’t have any money saved, between my paycheck being consumed by her buying expensive nails, and constantly buying custom tailored outfits for the child, helping her parents extremely expensive bills and other wasteful purchases that it’s an endless cycle of living on overdraft and I have argued with her before that the overdraft is a major issue. Nothing changed, and she firmly believes getting married is more important to save up for versus paying off debt to fix our credit scores.

Now, I really do love her and I wish we will have a great life together but I’m struggling with believing that I may be at the end of the relationship with her and I might have to leave and live homeless for a while as I continue to work in my current career to afford my own place and claim financial independence and stability again but, I want opinions from you all if I am needing to move on with myself, or am I over reacting here?