AIO? I (33F) found my fiancé’s (33M) OF account
For context, I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant and my fiancé and I are supposed to be getting married in a couple of weeks.
He’s been away for work for the last few days, and while using our shared computer for uni work, I discovered he’d been spending a fair bit of time on OnlyFans and Fansly. I confronted him straight away because while I honestly don’t care if he watches porn, I do care if he’s paying specific women or interacting with them personally.
After checking everything, it turns out he was only viewing free content and wasn’t messaging or subscribing to anyone.
But the conversation that followed hit a lot harder.
For a while now I’ve been struggling with the fact that he rarely initiates sex, and I often feel like I’m practically begging to feel wanted. This didn’t suddenly start because of the pregnancy, but pregnancy has definitely made the insecurity worse. The women he was looking at also have very different body types to mine, which already had me feeling pretty awful about myself.
We ended up talking more honestly about attraction, and I asked him outright whether the pregnancy had changed things for him physically. He admitted that it had.
I ended the call not long after that and spent the rest of the night crying.
He’s coming home tonight, and before we talk face to face I sent him the attached message trying to explain how hurt and disconnected I’ve been feeling. Now I feel sick over whether I overreacted or not.
Am I overreacting here?
Edit: a few of you have asked to see his response, there isn’t one. The message I sent him directly before this asked him to just read what I had so say, and sit with it before responding in person when he got home.
Update: We talked a lot and we’re going to go to therapy (both individually and as a couple). At the end of the day we love each other and are committed to making this work.