I’m 18,I’m fucked and it’s my fault
On June 2nd I cheated on my girlfriend and had 3 rounds of unprotected sex with a girl who I then discovered was having sex with multiple other men.
On June 20th I stared seeing watery discharge from my penis went to the doctor and learnt I had gotten chlamdyia.I thought this was the worst unfortunately a lot was still left to come.On the 13th of July 6 weeks later I stated having flu like symptoms literally every symptom imaginable from a small mouth ulcer on the outside of my mouth then one on my tongue terrible body aches diarrhea fatigue I had even noticed I’ve lost weight,these flu like symptoms lasted one week.I even noticed earlier on I had 2 nights of night sweats which I thought was the heat and a persistent dry cough before I put things together…
I’m Scared of what’s to come I literally had the best life possible my parents have given me everything I’ve ever wanted,I have the prettiest and most loving girlfriend and this is what I’ve brought onto my self and them🤦🏽♂️
I’ve been so depressed and at one point I can’t believe I’m saying this but even considered self harm but then I remember my nieces and nephews my loving parents my brothers and sisters.i cannot believe I have let my self in this position I cannot tell anyone the disappointment and shame I would bring to them.I live in Jamaica where stigma is Probably some of the highest in the world and we are pretty aware of this virus and I don’t know how I got my self into this position.My carelessness caught up to me and I guess I got what I deserved.
I’m so scared to go tested now at 77 days after exposure because I’m 99.99% I’ve contracted this virus my parents had warned me multiple times use condoms and I don’t know what got over me that day.
This is the worst I’ve ever been in my life I don’t see a way out and I know I must take responsibility for my actions but this feeling of emptiness and a dark void has taken over me.I’ve been researching and reading that this virus is hardest to contract from female to male and it would appear as it’s found its way to my door and I ask my self why me ??