This is so Hard
In the process of divorcing my husband with BPD, and today has been… well, a lot.
I texted my soon-to-be-ex asking if he could pick up our 14-year-old daughter after school. She was included on the text thread because, you know, she is 14 and this was about her transportation.
Cue an entire day of meltdowns.
Apparently I am weaponizing our children, trying to embarrass him, being irresponsible, criticizing him to death, etc.
Then I discovered he took $10,000 from my business account within the last week. When I questioned him about it, I was accused of harassing him. He told me he can do whatever he wants with “his” business finances, because he put the business I actually run in his name. That is a whole separate, very long story, but he has used control of the business and its finances as a means of control over me for years.
Now he is threatening to fire me as the manager and telling me that I know nothing about the day-to-day operations of my own business and that I am a complete failure.
Then came the personal attacks: I’m a man-hater, I learned it from my mother, I’m worthless, etc.
And then I found out he emptied our retirement account.
$500,000. Gone.
I am exhausted.
This is such bullshit. I don't want revenge. I don't want a dramatic life. I don't want to spend my days documenting financial transactions, defending myself against accusations, or trying to figure out what has been done behind my back.
I just want to live a regular life.
Update:
I have a lawyer, and we are at the start of a divorce. He bit my 17 year old a few weeks ago, making him bleed, and that was it. I saw a lawyer on the next weekday. We filed a TPO to protect the finances so he can no longer drain my business accounts.