Am I in the wrong for calling my sister’s boyfriend a cheater?
I (22F) am angry because my sister’s (19F) boyfriend (19M) is, in my opinion, a cheater.
So, my little sister’s online boyfriend was caught secretly texting another woman. My sister and her boyfriend had been talking on several platforms, one of these being TikTok. To my sister’s knowledge her boyfriend only had one account, but she later found out that he had two. This second account had my sister blocked, preventing her from stumbling upon it on her own. However, this attempt of concealing it was thoroughly wrecked when he accidentally liked one of my sister’s TikToks with the other account. This second account had been messaging another woman who wasn’t my sister, conflicting with the fact that my sister and her boyfriend have been dating for the past 6 months. This other girl was following the account and when my sister contacted her personally she revealed that she and my sister’s boyfriend had been flirting over text for a while. All of this taking place while he was still dating my sister. When my sister dug further she ended up finding even more accounts belonging to her boyfriend.
When confronted, his argument was that he wasn’t cheating because he simply wanted to know if he liked to be “dominated” by a woman. This lines up with the fact that my sister told me that he used to listen to “Mother ASMR”(synonym for mother) early into their relationship. Supposedly he has since stopped. But he was still texting the other woman messages like these:
Boyfriend: “Mummy, I will brb if I'm allowed permission.”
Other woman: “Yes baby, you are allowed”
Boyfriend: “Thanks Mummy, I will try to be quick for u”
Other woman: “Good boy”
These are direct quotes. When my sister found out she came to me, crying.
When my sister exposed him and told him that she would tell the story to the world, his initial reaction was that he could get more followers on social media. My sister felt like she was just an object for his entertainment, like she was a toy that got switched out.
As her big sister, I believe that this is blatant cheating or at the very least toxic behavior. My sister is good-hearted by nature and is considering forgiving him, thus not breaking up with him. I don’t want her to end up in a relationship where transgressions like this are easily forgiven. So here’s my question to you, Reddit:
Is it wrong for me to be calling my sister’s boyfriend a cheater for essentially living a double life online? Or does he deserve forgiveness?