u/Puzzleheaded_Pen7118

Is this normal for a time-and-materials contractor?
I hired a contractor for exterior siding/trim work. My dad referred him to me.The original estimate was roughly 3 guys for 3 days, at $84/hour for labor + 20% on materials. He said 8,000 and asked for 4,000 up front. I understood it was time-and-materials and that the price could increase if the scope changed.
The scope has increased somewhat, which I understand. I had some rot and additional areas and paint that needed to be added. However, I’m now about $24,000 into the project and it’s still not finished.
The number of workers has varied throughout the project. Some days there has been one guy, some days two, and I’ve only had two days with three guys working.
I recently asked for a basic breakdown of what I’ve paid so far and a rough idea of what remains. I’m not asking for every receipt or trying to nickel-and-dime him. A simple breakdown like “$X labor, $Y materials, and we estimate another $X–$Y to finish” would be completely fine.
Instead, he just gives me a dollar amount for a check each week without breaking down the labor vs. materials.
He also just told me that there’s a 2-hour minimum per day and that anything over 4 hours gets billed as a full day. Neither of these rules was ever communicated to me or included in my understanding of the $84/hour agreement.
When I ask about the costs, he keeps saying the $84/hour + 20% materials is simply how he prices things and that I’m not supposed to track hours/materials. He also keeps asking me if I want to pay “full price,” saying I’m getting a “family and friends discount” because his normal rate is $105/hour + 25% materials.
I appreciate that he’s giving me a lower rate, but my dad simply referred me to him. We aren’t friends or family, so the repeated “family and friends” comments feel a little odd to me, especially when I’m asking basic questions about a $24,000 project.
I’m not refusing to pay, disputing the agreed rate, or expecting an exact final price. I just want to understand how we’re getting to $24,000 and what I should realistically expect to spend to finish.
If this is simply how time-and-materials jobs work, then fair enough. I genuinely don’t have much experience with this and I’m trying to understand what is normal.
I’m also getting frustrated because I feel like my questions are being dismissed, and honestly, as a woman, I can’t help but wonder if I’d be getting a different response if I were a man handling the conversations.