AITA for kicking my sisters out of my bridal party.
This is long
Hello everyone! I’m wondering if anyone here is going through sibling drama or has any advice.
Basically, what I’m asking is: am I a terrible sister?
I got engaged on July 18th, 2025. The day after I got engaged, I told my three half-sisters (24, 20, and 17, almost 18) that my wedding would be on December 18th, 2026, and that they would all be part of my bridal party. My sisters are some of the most important people in my life. They live in Colorado, and I moved to Florida about 4 years ago to be closer to our grandparents. Since leaving, I’ve felt like they’ve been upset with me, but I was so happy when they agreed to be my bridesmaids.
A few months after I got engaged, in November, I sent bridesmaid proposal packages to my sisters and my three other bridesmaids. My sisters never even told me they got them, and I later found out from my mom that one of them didn’t even open hers until 2 months later. I also found out they made fun of the keychains I made and the personal letters I wrote for them.
Since then, they’ve repeatedly expressed — very harshly — that I would need to help cover my youngest sister’s travel expenses. Because I love my sisters, I agreed to help, but I explained that I wouldn’t be able to fully cover everything because of life and wedding expenses. I also reminded them that I gave them a year and a half notice, so there was time to save money from work. They also told me they would only come for the exact number of days I needed them because they didn’t want to “waste PTO.”
There was also a lot of choice words thrown at me because my step father didn’t want to come to the wedding to watch my BIO dad walk me down the isle which my sisters decided to make me feel bad about to the point were I told them that our grandpa was actually going to do it because none of my “fathers” deserved that more than my grandpa who has actually been there for me.
(My step father was a drunk who physically and mentally abused me my whole life and my BIO dad is actually pretty cool but wasn’t really in my life due to my parents keeping me from him..plus he really didn’t make a huge effort to find me)
In the end i decided that I was gonna walk myself down
(i since change back to my grandpa but they don’t know that)
Every time I posted wedding ideas or bachelorette ideas in the bridal party group chat, my sisters would message me complaining about how much money it would cost them and telling me my ideas seemed lame. I later found out they had been making fun of my wedding behind my back.
One of my sisters even called me and accused me of using them as “placeholders” because I supposedly didn’t have enough bridesmaids and didn’t actually want them in the wedding. That hurt deeply because it wasn’t true at all. When I first started planning, I actually had 12 bridesmaids, but I narrowed it down to 6 — and my sisters were always my first choice.
At this point I was crying every day about the way my sisters were treating me. My other bridesmaids were honestly getting tired of seeing me cry over how my sisters were treating me.
Right now, two of my sisters live in a house I bought in Colorado for my parents when we were close to becoming homeless. It was my last resort to make sure everyone had somewhere safe to live.
A few months ago, my fiancé and I were trying to buy his childhood home from his mother because we thought me already owning a house would prevent us from getting another one. I had agreed that if we got the house, my sisters, their boyfriends, and their dad (my stepdad, who I have a strained relationship with) could all stay there during the wedding to help with costs.
That would’ve been 6 people staying in the house. They also expected me to drive everyone around, even though I have a Mini Cooper that comfortably fits maybe 2 people. I told them that 6 working adults should be able to split the cost of a rental car for 3 days.
I also explained that during the week of my wedding, I wouldn’t really be available because I’d be dealing with wedding prep, getting ready, and last-minute things.
At this point, I had already bought my youngest sister’s bridesmaid dress, and she looked absolutely beautiful in it.
Last week, my fiancé and I found out his childhood home has major structural problems. The house would need to be lifted and repaired because it may actually be sinking, and it hasn’t been updated since the 1970s. The repairs would cost more than buying another home, so we made the difficult decision not to move forward with it.
The good news is we found out that me already owning a house is not actually a problem, and my fiancé and I do qualify to buy our own home. We’ve started house hunting, which is exciting!
But before I shared that exciting news with my sisters, I had to explain that we could no longer offer them housing at my fiancé’s family home because of the structural issues and everything else going on.
Honestly, I was devastated myself. My fiancé and I don’t even live together yet, and this house felt like our closest opportunity to finally start our life together since I currently travel a lot to see him.
Instead of comforting me, my sisters immediately became angry. They told me I had “promised” them the house and said I was costing them too much money.
One of them literally said:“Cut costs to your wedding and help us out, or find new bridesmaids.”
I completely broke down. I’ve spent most of my life putting my sisters’ needs before my own, and this was honestly the first time I ever really stood up to them. All three of them were attacking me at once, and I got overwhelmed and said, “Then don’t come to the wedding,” before hanging up.
I immediately felt awful afterward.
The next day, after calming down, I sent them a message because they wouldn’t answer my calls. I explained that I didn’t want them to feel financially burdened anymore, and I thought it might be better if they just came to the wedding as my sisters instead of bridesmaids so we could still share the day together without all the pressure.
A few days later, I spoke to one of my sisters on the phone, and she told me that if I can afford a wedding, then I should be able to afford getting them there too. They viewed me removing them from the bridal party as me “kicking them out” because they’re poor. They also said, “What’s the point of even coming if we aren’t bridesmaids anymore?” and told me, “We all feel truly unloved by you.”
I told her I had given them a year and a half notice, but she wouldn’t listen.
I’ve been sick to my stomach ever since because I truly love my sisters so much, and it hurts that they can’t see that.
Did I make a bad decision removing them from the bridal party?
Is anyone else going through something similar?
Am I a terrible big sister?