Asexuals Sweden
Hi. I’m a 26 year old woman from Sweden. I’ve always felt a bit different because sex and sexual acts like making out and touching makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I thought it was because sexual abuse I’ve experienced and maybe that is the cause, I don’t know. I have been involved in sexual acts and been interested in it, but that disappeared. I feel disgusted just thinking about sex. I’m in a relationship and we do have sex from time to time but I feel disgusted by myself. I feel unattractive and each time we have sex I feel like he’s not really having sex with me just because he loves me or actually want to. It feels more like something he does to please his urges. Like just get it over with. I know he could easily find a prettier woman to be with and he’s definitely made it clear to me that he can get anyone he wants. I think he chooses to stay with me just because I’m easy . I never argue with him or make his life difficult. I carry all the bad feelings inside. Deep within my heart I love him. So so much. But I don’t think he loves me the same way. I once asked him “if we never had sex.. would you still be with me?” He said “no” . That’s my answer. My dream partner would be someone that would love me just as much as I love them. Someone that finds me just as attractive as I find them, BUT not having any sexual urges. I don’t want to have sex and feel uncomfortable all the time. I would rather have someone to have fun with, talk about everything, cuddle and watch movies. Sex just makes me feel pressured. I just don’t want to have it tbh. It’s not important to me.
Sorry for writing so much.. I’m just wondering.. am I really asexual? I’ve never liked sex nor wanted it, no matter the partner I’ve had. I can find someone sexually attractive but it’s more like “damn he’s hot and sexy. Would love to be close to him” and it makes me all tingly but I still don’t want any sex. I prefer to pleasure myself.
Also I’m wondering if anyone else is asexual here in Sweden and have been able to find a partner that’s ok with not having sex?