I'm in need of serious help
This is an actual nightmare, sometimes i feel like nothings real anymore. I can find joy in nothing because this consumes every second of my day plagueing it with "what if i can't go when the need arises thoughts?" and i get so embarrassed for myself. My body shouldn't feel like this my whole nervous system is wrecked. I break down in tears but can't even cry anymore im so exhausted, these past 2 weeks have been hell on earth. PLEASE if anyone can relate I need something to help. I'll explain now sorry. I can't go in my own home no matter what, I have a basement room and the only time I'm able to go is with extreme difficulty in a cup with the laundry going and my fan on and even then i take 15 minutes to push it out. I constantly strain and the only time i'm relieved is when my family leaves the house but even then it's difficult. I tried someone's method of fluid loading but my bladder got full in the middle of the night and i didn't have a safe space to go so i strained really hard and was freaking out. My mom is breaking down every night I can't stand this anymore seriously fuck my life. What did i do to deserve this. I haven't let my bladder fill up past a 4/10 other than when i'm asleep and even then i rush to go when i wake up. I tried GE but i end up freaking out and I know that's not the way to do it but it gets so stressful and i'm too weak to stick with it. Actually breaking down writing this. Please if anyone can relate PLEASE help me get through this there's gotta be a way.