The grief is real
I was with my Q for almost 12 years, married for the past 4. Tomorrow is our 4th wedding anniversary and also happens to be the day he and his parents are coming to collect the rest of his stuff from the house. He lost his job because of the multiple relapses in the past 2 months, all of which he blamed on me for asking for a separation (and now filing for divorce). He’s moving back to his home state and living with his parents.
It feels like my best friend died. I’m literally grieving someone who is still alive. I’ve been avoiding the emotions by staying busy for weeks, but it all hit today and I physically can’t get out of bed. We have two dogs together, they’re staying with me because I can’t even rely on him to take care of them for one night without the risk of him getting absolutely wasted instead of walking them.
I don’t know why I’m posting this. I just am so so so so sad and angry and hurt and feel like the person I fell in love with / married died a couple years ago and I’m finally realizing it. Such an intense emotion and hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t loved an alcoholic/addict.