A panic/anxiety-free future is possible!
Hi! I just want to tell my story to those of you who need to hear to this. You CAN get better. I hate the fact that I understand why people end their lives, but it also gives me empathy. I can never blame anyone who makes that choice. But I want you to know that you don’t have to. You don’t have to live in constant fear. I’m living proof that you can get better.
I’ve had agoraphobia since I was 12 years old. At first I only struggled with vehicles as a result of my first panic attack on an airplane. This “mild” agoraphobia lasted until 2023. I was in a semi-bad relationship (nice guy but wrong guy for me) which led to the hardest period of my life. I was super depressed, my anxiety was through the roof and I soon couldn’t get out of my apartment.
Since I was 14 my psychologist tried to get me on antidepressants, however I’m a stubborn individual and refused until I had tried everything. So I did! I tried lots of different diets (healing gut health and stuff), I worked out regularly, cut alcohol/caffeine/sugar, routines, CBT, breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, spending time in nature, art, journaling, praying. Believe me, if I wouldn’t have had anxiety, I would be the healthiest person alive. But it never went away.
At my lowest I really considered if this was a life worth living. Even if I never left my apartment I still had panic attacks. I was so afraid of my own mind and body, constantly checking my heart rate and doing stroke tests to double check that I wasn’t dying. It is a different kind of torture to be afraid of living but also being scared to die.
An old friend of mine suddenly came back in my life (who was well aware of my struggles) and pushed me to face my fears. He enlightened the spark in me that I needed. I spoke to my doctor and told him to give me everything that he got. I was so tired of constantly being scared.
This was one year ago. Today I am happy, and 99% anxiety-free. In august I’m traveling Europe with some friends, something I never thought was possible. I suffered for 10 years. And if I can do it, so can you!
I know how hard it is. And it will get even harder when you decide to live. My best advice is anger. Fuck this phobia. Fuck your fucked up brain and nervous system. You CAN take control in your life, you have it in you!! You haven’t made it this far to just give up!
I hope this story reaches you who need it. Just hang in there and believe in a future where you’re happy, it is possible🫶🏼🫶🏼
Edit:
Just wanted to add something my friend thought would be helpful for anyone here. She remembered a time where I would read posts like this and couldn’t believe that my life ever could change. It seemed so far away. So please believe me when I say that you CAN live a normal life one day❤️