Intimacy is the goal and sex is merely the expression
Thoughts about truly deep intimacy have been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been processing the notion that sex can be something we participate in without deeply developed intimacy. I feel like sometimes we can attempt to reverse engineer intimacy by chasing after sex as a key indicator of closeness and trust. And while amazing sex requires trust, it’s not necessarily what creates it between a couple. Or maybe it does?
Intimacy is defined as a deep, personal connection that goes beyond surface-level relationships. It encompasses emotional safety, mutual vulnerability, and true authenticity, allowing individuals to feel completely seen, known, and accepted without judgment.
For those who have crossed that threshold of realization that intimacy is the ultimate goal and sex is one of the expressions of that intimacy, share how you came to that realization. What helped you gain that trust with your spouse? What helped you level up? Did it take a lot of selflessness on both sides? About how many years had you been married when you became aware that intimacy was more than sex-but at the same time sex continued to improve because of increasing intimacy.
If you don’t mind being vulnerable, what obstacles did you have to overcome to smooth off your rough edges and become an amazing lover? I’m sure most of us are still somewhere on the spectrum of “becoming” the person we truly want to be in our marriage. Let’s discuss our collective perspectives.