u/Quirkyquark43

I know this is probably brought up a bunch in this sub so hopefully it’s ok for me to post about it.

Last week I ugly cried into Ingred (my squishmallow cow). As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep I went down a dark path thinking about what growing up as my true gender would have been. Going out shopping for cute clothes, getting cute outfits together for school, worrying about prom, the usually girly stuff, the biggest regret was probably not discovering how sapphic I was. instead I was the awkward “guy” in school who didn’t groom correctly, hated my ugly self, and felt like an outsider and weirdo because I didn’t like or was into guy things. I took solace in Magic The Gathering, DnD (for which I wanted to play as a female warlock, hehe guess now I know why lol), and my biggest escape: video games. I had a small group friends but still felt left out with them.

I have recently started reading Yuri manga and novels which really help counteract the negative feelings. I have a very vivid imagination and can get lost in the world of whatever I’m reading. I always get the warmest fuzzy feelings when the 2 love interest kiss or do something romantic.

Anyways just really wanted to get that off my chest since I have no one else to share it with. I’m not depressed about it just get really sad whenever I think too deep into it. Would love to hear similar experience you all had so I don’t feel so alone in this.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.