My mother has a brain tumor and I don't know what to do.
I never thought I'd be on a subreddit like this one. I always heard of families being destroyed by these things, but naively never truly considered that it could affect my own. Here I am, though. I am sorry if my explanation isn't the best, I can never remember all of the terminology. This may also be all over the place.
My (23F) mother (43) has been diagnosed with a petroclival meningioma after 3 years of increasingly concerning symptoms. These symptoms include a decline in mobility, dibilitating pain, loss of vision, loss of hearing, coordination problems, speech problems, memory problems and seizures. These have all been more common and aggressive in the last few months. After the original scans and tests, I suppose I was still in denial, but two weeks ago she has seen the neurosurgeon. It wasn't good news. There isn't really anything they can do to treat it. They can only treat her symptomatically with medications. They are tracking the growth of the mass itself aswell as her symptoms. The tumor is growing at a concerning rate, and the doctors don't want to operate because of the location and risk. For this same reason, they don't want to do a biopsy, though they are fairly certain it's cancerous due to central necrosis showing up on imaging. My mother has decided that she does not want any cancer treatment. I don't blame her. As terrible of a pill as it is for me to swallow, I understand that it is her body that will be going through the suffering, and I will support her no matter what.
Ever since my mother came back from that appointment with the neurosurgeon my bubble of denial has burst. It feels as if though time has stopped moving for me while the rest of the world keeps spinning. My mom is my best friend. We do everything together. Seeing her suffer is the greatest pain I've ever experienced. I cannot even begin to imagine what she must be going through.
The news has shaken my entire family. My stepdad is being treated by a psychiatrist now as he is not coping. My biological dad (who has remained close friends with my mom since I was very small) is getting into trouble at work, because he cannot focus on anything. My fiancé who has come to see my mother has his own throughout the years has completely retreated into himself to the point where I can't reach him. All of this, as you can imagine, has only made it all harder on my mother. I don't blame anyone for their reactions, I just wish I could spare my mom from worrying about all of us on top of worrying about her own condition.
As for me? I'm not coping. I've been operating like a machine trying to support everyone whilst caring for my mother. (I have moved in with her months ago to assist her with daily needs). My stepdad, biological dad, and fiance all work long hours, so it's mostly just me and my mom at home. I work from home and have been sweating blood trying to keep the household running, my job done, my studies up to date (I'm enrolled in distance learning and graduate July), my mother taken care of and the pets taken care of all whilst feeling like my entire world has shattered.
My mother has told me she feels more like a burden by the day as her symptoms worsen, and I don't want to add my own imminent breakdown onto everything else she is already carrying, but I need help. I can't afford a psychologist to talk to at the moment because all spare finances have gone towards paying for her scans, appointments, hospitalizations, gas money etc...
I don't know what to do or who to turn to.
Kind strangers, any advice or even just words of support would be appreciated. How do I properly support my mom and my family without pushing myself past my breaking point?