Talking stage issues
Hello everyone! I [19F] have been in a talking stage with a guy [23M] for a little under 3 weeks now. Everything had been going great, he is extremely kind and helpful, he’s very gentle and does not make me feel uncomfortable, nor has he ever been inappropriate with me at any time during any of our interactions.
About a week ago I asked him if he would like to meet up in person to get to know each other better, he agreed he would like to see me and we settled on a certain date and said he would let me know a couple days before hand. However, the time came and went, and he didn’t bring it up again. I assumed he was maybe just anxious, and moved on without a second thought as we are still getting to know each other.
At this point in time, we have only been communicating through text messages. I recently decided to ask if he would like to do a phone call, as I was interested in hearing his voice and once again getting to know him better in a way that texting doesn’t allow, and he said he had something to tell me about that. He then proceeded to tell me that he doesn’t speak any English, and that he was struggling to tell me because he didn’t know when a good time would be to break that to me.
I feel very confused about what to do now, as I knew that his primary language wasn’t English, but we had been communicating and getting to know each other through text in English, so I guess him not speaking any English never crossed my mind.
Now knowing this however, I am realizing that the reason he didn’t bring up our plans again was because he knew that by showing up the language barrier would be obvious. I’m also realizing that he didn’t tell me that he didn’t speak English because he was being honest with me, he only told me when I asked him for something that would require honesty from him. What I am saying is that he didn’t tell me of his own free will, he told me only once he was backed into a corner and had to be truthful.
I feel kind of frustrated that I didn’t know before, but I also feel bad for him as well. It has to be very difficult trying to communicate with people in a country (the US) that is almost entirely English speaking. But the fact that he didn’t tell me immediately when we first started talking and waited until he had no choice but to tell me is difficult for my brain to wrap around.
Because on one hand I’m frustrated but on the other hand I feel sorry for him that he felt he had to hide this from me, and all the times he was sweet and caring towards me rushes back and makes me feel even worse for being frustrated. I am conflicted.
I’m not sure what I should do or how to proceed, and I hope that you all could give me advice from an outside perspective. Thank you for taking the time to read this!