u/Random36956

I’m very what my roommates say, emo. Dark clothes, chains, visible tattoos, visible piercings, with dyed hair that’s (right now) split down the middle, with my natural hair blonde and the other side black.

I have a pretty bad angry looking face when I’m not talking.

The problem I’ve been having is, I’m very much extroverted, but most of the time I go out in public people avoid me because I’m alt and look angry. Most of the time I’ll try talking to someone and normally get like a look of fear on their face, before they realize I’m just asking for directions or if they need help.

So my question is, Is it possible to be alt and not scare people. If so how would that be possible

But just because strangers think I’m scary? doesn’t mean I’m not going to be alt it’s just sad

Also I don’t know if I put the right flair for this.

Context I live in a group home type thing for mental health I’m 19. He’s 19.

I’ve grown up in homophobic and transphobic house, They only decided to change their minds when I moved out, and ‘kinda’ help with my transition.

But I mostly had to do it all on my own. My roommate’s situation was similar but he was allowed to start Medical as long as his parents didn’t have to do anything but sign stuff.

He officially got top surgery about a week ago. He’s not rubbing it in, He’s not being rude about it, But I’m so fucking jealous.

I keep breaking down randomly, and getting mad at him for doing stuff he’s 100 percent not be supposed to do right now.

I really don’t know how to handle my feelings right now and I know it’s not his fault. I just feel stuck I have stuff in the works my letter from my therapist is going to be sent out to OHSU tomorrow. (hopefully) But they have a 2 year wait list.

It’s a recurring theme because they are very similar but never quite the same.

It’s a teeth based one,

It always starts like a normal dream, And then eventually I find out one of my teeth is wiggly. (by eating or my tongue touching it ect,) Then I’ll just straight up grab it, And gently pull, And it comes free. Once it’s free, There’s normally holes, And black tar like substances, Sometimes jiggly black goop. Always on the the tooth. Sometimes in the mouth. I know dream me is horrified each time.

It always starts with me pulling my own teeth, And that’s what’s interesting to me.

I don’t know if I can call them nightmares anymore. because there just normal dreams, That just happen sometimes. They give me anxiety but besides that not really anything else besides. “Why this dream again”

I’ve been on testosterone for basically a year now. Today my voice box and surrounding area hurts, Really bad a kind of sore throat? this has never really happened before. I have heard that this could happen when your voice is about to drop. I’ve never had that happen to me. The only thing that I would say is there is I high chance I’m not sick and my voice is a tiny bit more gravely, I originally assumed that was because I wasn’t sleeping well. This week I upped my dose of testosterone, Could that have played a part into this. Thank you