u/Rare-Spring410

I once read a post here about someone thinking about lying about the reason why they chose to take off the hijab in the aim to avoid questions and judgment.
For example, if someone lies by saying they have scalp issues, found a job that requires them removing it, had to remove it for any other practical reason, then the action of removing it will be more or less “justified” and easier to shut people up.

I have had similar thoughts before, but the idea of lying like that is scary and against my values, idk - but it really is the easy way out for someone who hates confrontation and keeps their beliefs and opinions to themselves (especially in conservative muslim societies where everyone seems to have the right to be nosy and judgmental in your face!).

What are your thoughts on this?

Hello.
I hope anyone reading this is doing well.

I recently came across this subreddit and it honestly feels so refreshing to know that I am not alone in this!🥹

I started wearing the hijab when I was 9. I was not forced to do it, I just wanted to look like many women in my life, whom all wore it at a very very older age, like 20s, 30s, also 40s!🤣

I remember writing in my diary when I was 10 that “I am currently wearing the hijab but when I get older I will become a woman who doesn’t wear it”. It honestly breaks my heart whenever I remember how I used to look at my fellow classmates wearing cute earrings and showing off their hair.

As I got older, I just sort of grew out of it? I do realize now how shallow it is to consider one will go to hell for simply wearing a head accessory. I love the concept of modesty and will forever embrace it even when I take it off Insha’Allah one day. It also makes my relationship with Islam much more difficult as I am skipping some prayers because of this situation. It feels like a rope tied around my neck every time I got out with it.

I took it off twice: once when I was alone in an airport - it felt so amazing walking and conversating with strangers without the hijab imposing a persona on me. The second time I was in a public park and it was empty so I took it off and started walking and feeling the air in my hair. I cried that day.

It also makes me mad to see pictures of my mom wearing whatever she wanted, styling her hair and outfits, when I had none of that and I am almost 25! She was stunning in those pictures and I feel bad for her because I know she hates it as well now but would never admit it.

Long story short I am married now. I wouldn’t call my husband religious, he is just very conservative with societal norms. He loves me to death and would go far and beyond to make me happy, but I feel so bad that I will have to make him go through this. I wanted to take it off before I met him but I didn’t have the chance because I had different plans and a lot changed since I got married. We live alone in a secular country but I know he will feel bad when our friends will see me or when he has to explain it to his parents. He doesn’t deserve to go through this so I hate that!☹️

Any advice on how to approach him?