Am I wrong for focusing on a long-distance relationship?
Hi, this is my first time posting here. Here is my situation—and I should start by saying I’m feeling a bit of "impostor syndrome" about it all.
I (30M) met someone (29F) online; she has two children, and we share a mutual affection. We’ve been talking for over a year, and honestly, I’m a little scared by how deeply involved I’ve become with her.
She is a very independent woman in many ways—which doesn't matter to me, except financially. When I was younger, I made a lot of stupid decisions that kept me from building my life at the pace I wanted, whereas she has achieved total financial independence.
That last point matters because, more than anything, I want a family. I want to be able to provide for whatever needs arise and know that, as a family, we can afford luxuries—or simply that she can look at me and know she can count on me, without any financial dependency involved. I’ve told her this.
I feel good because I love this woman so much that I get excited at the thought of eventually living together—taking whatever time is needed. Beyond the question of raising the kids, I want them to see a man who loves their mom and is someone they can rely on.
With that in mind, the financial aspect worries me a bit, even though I have a plan to get out of debt and am working on a promising digital business venture of my own.
I worry she might feel like she’s wasting her time, since she’s already been through the "building a life together" phase before—unfortunately with someone who hurt her deeply, both mentally and physically, and who was little more than a sperm donor.
I guess I’m looking for some advice on how to handle what’s going through my head. The truth is, I am absolutely ready to settle down. I’m even willing to move away from my city if the relationship calls for it.
Her children are 9 and 2 years old; we’ve already talked about meeting in December, and she has openly said she doesn't mind if I meet them.