hey you all, not sure where to start.
baby is about 15 months.
i started nanny for a family back in feb, mom said baby is “super chill” but so far i’ve seen nothing of chill baby, it was quite the transition as the baby has been co sleeping with mom since she was born. i have been super patient to see if things get magically better. i am only with them 3 days a week. mon-wed 8 am - 5 pm.
i don’t really see dad much, which probably adds to the baby only ever wanting to be with mom. since day 1, i think we started teaching baby that everytime she screams/cries mom will be there to help soothe. i knew that this is only going to make matters worse but ofcourse i know i should have said something but i tried staying patient with the family as this is the first baby. i knew mom nerves may have been spiked trusting a new nanny and all.
upon applying mom said baby’s room will be all set up when i start. it has been almost 5 months and room has not been set up or even worked on. we are in a common area (living room) with an open concept, so baby is able to hear/see mom almost everytime she comes down, which is often. i try almost every thing to distract her away from mom but not much has been helpful, only putting tv on which isn’t my favorite method but if it works, it works. now i completely understand life gets busy and things get thrown in the back burner but what really messes with me is that mom and grandma are in and out of the house doing yard work, priorities i guess. with this they usually wake up the baby from naps with the door constantly slamming.
mom will come down and grab the baby mentions “ i know this is probably only going to make things worse for nanny” so if she’s aware why keep doing it. she ends up putting baby down and baby will start all over again with screaming/crying.
everything i try to do, change baby, diaper change, teach colors, to walk, read always ends with baby scream crying
i try to soothe but only ends up making things worse. i’ve learned if i walk away she calms down better, instead of me trying a million different strategies. i can’t even use the bathroom without a huge fuss.
baby doesn’t have a room or bed for nap. she usually will fall asleep on my stomach which i end up with a lot of stomach pains and cramps because i can not move for the time being trying not to wake a sleeping baby.
i feel so uncomfortable having to go into moms room every time i need an outfit for baby, etc. nothing is ever organized, i have to scavenge the entire house to look for wipes, i don’t really like to be messaging mom every minute especially when i am able to problem solve and try to look first, because i understand her time is valuable as she works from home. house is always in disarray. they cleaned the entire house for first birthday but when i came back to work everything was all disorganized again. it lasted only 2 days being nice and clean.
they have 8 cats so im usually sitting on cat pee which i find absolutely gross, i smell pee on something everyday, all day!
mom set up her gym room before babies room. when i’m not here i don’t think baby has much of a routine. when i am here i try to have a simple routine so that baby knows what might be coming next. i have learned through my years of nannying that routine is very important to have a day run pretty smooth.
mom almost never has food for baby, i have to go through a dirty, sticky fridge to look for something she can eat.
mom doesn’t care to let me know before hand if baby is sick, i usually show up and then she’ll mention. during interview i mentioned i do not work with sick kids.
we try going on walks a lot so that they don’t feel like prisoners in their own home, but currently we are facing a extreme weather warning, not sure what this week will look like as we will probably be staying inside for most of the week.
this is not my first family but will probably be my last, i feel so burnt out. i have nannied for more than 13 years. it saddens me to come to the realization that i may be done with childcare.
this is not the first family i have nannied for so i understand every family runs their home differently.
i’m not sure what im asking for here, maybe things i can bring up to the mom? wwyd if you were in this situation? not sure if i missed anything but i will try comment more if i remember about something.