r/NannyBreakRoom

So backstory I "babysit" for this single dad eho just went through a divorce, and the mom is not interested in helping. When we were first talking, he said I would just be taking care of his 3 year old son while his daughter was at school. This turned out not to be the case. It's been a week since I started, the house is a mess, the only food is the food I boughthe won't clean anything, he won't do laundry, the kid was in the same clothes I put him in the previous morning, I found out the kids don't have toothbrushes, and he's only willing to pay $180 a week even though I work 11 hours a day 5 days a week. What should I do? I don't want to quit because I fear the kids won't be taken care of as well as they should be, but I can't keep working like this.

I work between 60-65 hours a week. I say yes to my boss almost 95% of the time to anything-no matter how short notice-unless I have a conflict. Thank goodness I love my job and the family I work for. But last week my best friend made a comment on my long hours being crazy and it has me wondering if this is normal or not??

I get paid overtime after I’ve reached 40 hours. Also I nanny in Dallas, Texas

I’m a nursing student and nanny in East Texas, and I applied for a family helper position that pays $21–27/hr. The schedule would usually be around 9:30 AM–4:00 PM, 4 days a week, with one parent working from home. It sounds pretty manageable overall, and the family seems nice from the description.
The thing I’m unsure about is this part:
Needed for the entire month of June
No care needed in July
Needed again for two weeks in August
So basically there would be a full month with no work in July.
For those of you who nanny professionally or work in childcare, would this only really be worth taking if the family guaranteed pay for July too? Or is it normal to just find temporary work elsewhere during gaps like this?
I’m trying to think long-term and realistically because I need stable income for bills, gas, school, etc. I also know it can be hard to line up another short-term family for just one month and then leave again in August.
Would you:
Ask about guaranteed hours/pay for July?
Treat this as more of a temporary/summer position?
Or avoid taking it unless there’s some kind of retainer/guaranteed income?
I’d appreciate honest advice from experienced nannies/family assistants.

Struggling with handling my relationship with a long time family after employment ends. Cared about their whole family deeply. We've hung out a few times, I've babysat a few times.

I understand life goes on, and I've definitely come to terms with that. Part of what I'm struggling with is wanting to spend time with them, but I feel low balled when it comes to babysitting. Part of me wants to accept a lower amount so I can see them more, but the other part of me is trying to balance work, life, and burn out. I am well educated and experienced and my services come at a higher price. When they asked about babysitting and I said my rate, they were quite surprised and had a reaction. I tried to say I'm open to negotiating, but they kind of brushed it off. Recently they asked me for a big job, I did a lot of research on my areas market rates, and I felt like I gave them very middle of the road range of pay. It's been a few days and I've heard nothing. I'm a bit hurt as I felt like I didn't give them a high amount, I gave them a range of what I'm comfortable with based on what they asked for. It was even lower than what I would have stated for other families, but based on our past conversations about babysitting rates, I shot lower.

My feelings are a mix of hurt and sadness of things changing. I enjoy them a lot as people. But I also don't usually care to do lower $ babysitting to avoid burn out. I gave them a probably lower to mid market rate for the big job they asked, and still haven't gotten a reply.

Do I talk to them about lower $ for babysitting hoping to see them more? Do I just sit with the fact that things change after employment and I shouldn't lower my rates? How have others coped?

There’s this lady who’s posting anon in my overheard in ____ town groups that she needs a registered nanny to watch her 6 and 9 year old boys from Monday to Wednesday, 7:30-2 for $100 weekly.
She also stated they can’t keep a nanny longer than three weeks and is arguing with people in the comments saying it’s too low.
She lives 25 mins out of town….. gas is $4.99 a gallon here right now.

I am a live-in nanny. The parents I work for are going on a trip. The trip was first for seven days only but now it’s ten days. They didn’t ask if more days were fine and just told me randomly. I will be completely solo by myself.

The kid does have summer school 9am - 3 pm. So my schedule on the week days will be 6 am-9:15 am and then 2:45 pm- 8:15pm. (I am allowed to add the drive for pickup/drop off). On the weekends it will be 6 am - 8:15 pm. They are gone from a Monday through the following weeks Wednesday.

I do get General hours, over time, and over night fees. I honestly will be making great money around $1900, and they always give me a bonus when they come back as well (around 200/300$). It’s not expected but it is appreciated.

Has anyone done long solo nannying? I have only done it over weekends. Well once the child’s Godparent came for a week while the parents were gone and we double teamed working with the kid.

Is there any advice for this long solo nannying?

I am sitting a 19 month old- and I’m supposed to play with her for 3.5 hours straight. The baby doesn’t talk at all or really look like it wants to play, more just walk around or me sing to her. Am I supposed to be singing to her the whole time? I tried to play with her and the toys but she is not interested so I just sit there the whole time with her and we just kind of stare at each other. I know activities would be too advanced.

Has anyone ever had to work for a nanny family where a grandparent lives, who may require occasional assistance? Some family requested that recently on an ad, and made it seem like its not a big deal, but I feel that might be a dealbreaker

For context, I’ve been with this family over six years since the oldest was a few months old. I’ve given them spectacular care to the point they’ve never even had to have backup care. I’ve come in with a fever. I’ve come in after surgery. I was even listed in the will as the person who the children would go to if something were to happen to them. I have given this family all of myself for six years and I’m just coming to realization that they really don’t care about you passed the point of what you can do for them. I’d love to give all the additional context I feel is necessary to understand the situation, but I also don’t want to write a novel that no one‘s gonna want to read. All that to say, I’m approaching my last summer with them and I just feel done.

I visited my family for a week and a half and it was a breath of fresh air. Being around people that love, respect, and value me and also children that are respectful and hard-working unlike all the spoiled, entitled children I’m surrounded with every day, flipped a switch and I’m just done. I have to finish out the summer though for financial reasons, so I’m just coming here for some support bc I already feel burnt out and summer hasn’t even begun. Oh and I should add both parents are wfh and MB decided this summer she wants us spending most of the day at the house 🫠

lol it's really not that serious, but dad is home today and for some reason thinks it the most awesome idea to bang around the kitchen and talk loudly on the phone while baby is napping. I want to rip my hair out 😁

Like why aren't we even trying to be quiet??? 😭

hi. I posted something here about being beyond burnt out at my job. a lot of people told me that not only was i being underpaid, that nannying isn't something I personally wanted in my life based on what i was saying. so i found another job. unfortunately still with children but closer in the field i actually want to work in. i'm nervous about the same thing; burnt out and underpaid, but it's a RBT position that'll pay me 22 an hour once i'm certified. this could lock in grad school for me, which is my main goal.

the reason i'm posting is because, even though i was feeling exhausted, i have so much grief right now. i'm going to miss the girls, the cats, the home, how safe and soft it all felt, the freedom. i always knew nannying would be temporary but i'm crying every day. i was burnt out and deeply unhappy with my life, but i still took care of those girls as if they were my daughters or sisters. i'm trying to find a way to make my last two weeks with them special without it leaving them dysregulated. but i'm having problems with that myself. i'm an emotional mess. how do you guys deal with leaving these kids at the end of the day? when a new job or city starts calling?

I recently got laid off less than 3 hours ago, here’s a little story time. I worked with this family, let call them helicopter family. At the beginning I saw some red flags. Which included the following, one the family was helicopter parents which they didn’t say on the phone interview, so when I accepted the job after day one I noticed, they were watching my every move. Second they had cameras everywhere which is understandable right? Red Flag. Mind you I’ve only worked with them for a week, the boys (twins 1 year olds) haven’t warmed up to me. And this is where the tea is spilled, turns out I’m their third nanny this month alone, and I heard it from the house keeper. The reasoning behind them firing me is because the babies cling on to mom while she’s trying to work but also didn’t let me do my job. Mom is extremely incompetent in watching her littles. And tbh I felt bad. They did pay well, but not well enough to beg to keep my job. So I’m here now writing my story on Reddit.

I’m getting FLAMED in the nanny employer subreddit (what’s new) but everyone is mad that I would be uncomfortable with my NP having sex in their bedroom as I’m watching their kid. Would anyone else be uncomfortable or is that just me??

I've been nannying for my current family since the 4 year old was like 18 months. I started when Mom was pregnant with baby #3, who is almost 2 now. The 4 year old is really more like 3 and three quarters but her birthday is soon so rounding up. Even before I nannied for them, I babysat on weekends and evenings. So she has known me for YEARS.

And I understand that this is largely a thing of her feeling safe with me to have big feelings but bro, I gotta say...her hot and cold behavior with me makes it So hard to continue to bond with her? Which sounds awful.

When I first started, she would cry when I would arrive for the day but she was under 2 and obviously associated me with Mom and Dad leaving. We eventually got past that and she would be excited and happy to see me. When the youngest was born, I worked so hard to make her still feel special as the middle child and I gave her lots of attention. She was supposed to start half days with public preschool when she turned 3 but the school didn't have space. So she stayed home with me, which had been fine and fun and we did activities and went on outings. We still do those things but she also now thinks we should be going to places every day and then will determine that something like the zoo or storytime at the library "isn't fun" and she wants "to go somewhere fun".

She also CONSISTENTLY tells me that she wants me to leave, she doesn't want me to be here, she doesn't like me. And then when it's time for me to leave for the day, it's "nooo don't leave" and then she asks for me over breaks and weekends. Lately she's been going and banging on Mom's door because she WFH and she never used to do that and then I'm in the awkward position of having to be the villain and pull her away from the door and she hits and scratches me and won't let me console her and then mom comes out and gets her settled and that doesn't fix the afternoon. She cries when Mom goes back to work again after but she will literally cry the entire time if Mom DOESN'T come out either.

I know it is PURELY an association of when I'm here, mom and dad are not but goddamn, it is demoralizing. And getting hit or scratched by a preschooler is far more triggering to me than when an under 2 does it. Under 2 doesn't know better yet, they're still learning. Over 3 absolutely knows that it's not okay.

Like she's napping right now and Mom put her to bed because she was having a meltdown about wanting to see Mom before lunch again and I am trying to wake her up because they're actually trying to phase out naps so she can only take short ones as needed but I am DREADING her waking up and having another meltdown because Mom went back to her room to work some more. I basically need the jaws of life to wake her up early from nap and if it were up to me, I wouldn't be limiting naps at all and she'd get one daily but she struggles at bedtime and it's not my call.

First time nanny (or anyone else) employer. There have been a bunch of things that I should’ve nipped in the bud, but stupidly chose to be polite and avoid hurting feelings (she is only 19 and very young 19 at that).

On her first day when little one was sleeping, she went into a guest bedroom and took a nap. She didn’t even bother to make the bed. I was so shocked I didn’t say anything, it was too bizarre. This kept happening so I stripped the bed to make it less inviting. She just went into another bedroom and napped there. Didn’t make the bed there either. GOLDILOCKS!!

Her claim of “I cleaned the kitchen” is just her putting her dirty dishes in the sink for me to wash.

Eats everything and anything out of my fridge and pantry without asking.

She doesn’t pick up after LO or herself. I just found mushed up strawberries on the floor of LO’s room. Toys are never put away. Laundry is never done or folded.

She is constantly snatching LO out of my hands in an obnoxious fashion.

I have a newborn as well. I can kiss catching up on sleep when she is here because she is always SINGING or blasting music. Never stops talking!

She is decent with LO, but I have caught her in some lies. For example, claiming LO ate a roll but I found the roll in the trash uneaten. Claiming LO napped for 1.5 hour when she was only hollering in her crib because she was put down without a sleep sac. When confronted, she claimed the sleep sac slipped off! She never put one on!

Is it time to part ways with Goldilocks or should I just eat my porridge?

I started working with this family 3 months and really got good vibes from the family at first and really liked the kids. I noticed quickly mom was disorganized, but as I’m also pretty type B I didn’t really mind and figured we’d be able to relate to each other well. Out of the blue this morning, I receive an email saying I’ve been fired and I can finish out the month. No conversations had about expectations not being met, nothing. Talked to mom and she cites me not being able to do two date nights as the reason why when she gave me six hours notice and those hours weren’t included in my regular shifts. (on one of those occasions she forgot it was her husband’s birthday on the one weekday i told her i never have late availability, i offered to do a late shift any other night that week free of charge which she did not take me up on.) this past saturday, she texts me at 10am asking if i can work at 6pm and i was out of town. She also cited a pre hire date vacation (which i informed her of before i even signed the contract) as being a major disruption. She also said that because my family dates (ie grandmas birthday, brothers wedding) do not work with their schedule they can’t keep me on. I truly have never met such a narcissistic person. I know it’s within her rights to let me go but to not even having a conversation touching base? Also important to note that I have never been late to or missed any of my regular shifts, but because I have declined a few “bonus” shifts, I am not a good fit. Feeling super drained and discouraged with the employers I am encountering in this industry in general.

Additional context: Threw a tantrum at me and played palisades fire victim card, “I’ve been through so much I am entitled to a date night every now and then with my husband.” “Do you know what I had going on on (pre-hire dates you already had planned off)? My sisters fundraiser!” Rich people are babies. She’s a bored SAHM who clearly creates chaos in other people’s lives because she doesn’t feel in control of her own and most likely has some sort of drug problem.

Here’s the link to my original post.

UPDATE 1:

Hahahaa. I gave MB two weeks notice and she lost it. She’s trying to manipulate me and convince me to stay, and cannot believe I would quit with “two weeks notice”. I may post the messages once I officially no longer work for them. Just know she mentioned having to possibly pull the kids out of school because I’m quitting. Like what.

If I could afford to, I wouldn’t go back. Everything has happened over text, and I imagine she’ll be hostile in person. The good news is that I no longer feel guilty, and after talking to some friends, I can confidently say she’s off her rocker.

UPDATE 2:
I got fired hahahahha. I’m freeeee. I’m broke, but I’m free!

Okay so yes I’m a bit frustrated about this exact topic right now, but here it goes

Not letting your nanny (your long time, proven very competent and skilled nanny) bring their child to work on school breaks is selfish. You really think your child is needy enough (no special medical needs) to warrant my undivided attention for 9 hours per day?? That’s crazy. I’m just out here trying to make it work financially and this would be a huge relief to not have to pay. I don’t think I’m terribly underpaid but everything is so ducking expensive, why not just help people out when you can. And maybe this is where the most unpopular part is but I’m pretty sure MB will offer to help me pay for part of my child’s care but that feels crazy to me. Like if you guys can pay me more hourly please do but just taking a lump sum of money from the people who pay me for childcare to pay for my child’s care is just so strange. Nice but strange. Like charity and I guess I’m a little prideful?

Editing to say I should have said this *feels* selfish not inherently IS. Also will probably end commenting on this post just because I’ve gotten my yearly dose of arguing with strangers on the internet. I do appreciate everyone’s input. I have not changed my opinion lol

There’s a first time for everything. I made NKs lunch and then I went to go wake her up like I do every single day. I came back down and part of her lunch was missing.. Her meatballs were just gone and there was rice all over the tray just not where I put it. And I’m like there’s no way that DB just came and ate her meatballs so I’m doing my critical thinking skills and I’m staring at the tray. and I see dog hair the dog came and ate her lunch. He has literally never done that before we leave food on her tray every day whether it’s breakfast lunch or dinner and he’s been left to his own devices. but today he said let me eat her food 😭