u/Ok_Drummer8349

Hi y’all this is more of a venting post. I’ve never felt so worthless in my life. I’m a master’s international student graduating in a month. My BA is in International Relations and my MA is in Urban and Public Affairs. I’ve been a student-athlete for the past 6 years, which is what initially brought me to the U.S., and despite the workload, constant traveling, etc., I still managed to gain experience through internships with international organizations, a consulate, and more.

I’ve been applying everywhere, hoping for an opportunity aligned with my interests, and I’ve only heard back from 2–3 places. I even got an interview with Google’s summer fellowship program with CEPA, but I found out today that I was rejected.

I’m currently in the process of applying for OPT, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth the hustle, the uncertainty, and the money.

My long-term goal is to pursue a career in academia through a PhD. Recently, I’ve been thinking about reaching out to professors doing research in areas I’m interested in, even unpaid, while working part-time jobs to support myself. The other option is to go back home, take some time to build a stronger profile, and apply again for PhD programs next cycle.

I just don’t know if I’m not qualified enough. I’m currently in the Bay Area, where it feels like everyone around me has a job and is making good money, and I just feel really alone in all of this.

Thanks for reading. I really hope better days are ahead for all of us recent grads.

I applied for Google’s policy fellowship and one of the host organizations reached out for an interview. After the interview they told me I would know whether I got accepted or not by the end of the day. It’s Tuesday today and I still haven’t heard a word. I sent them a follow up today. I’m super nervous should I expect the worst?how would you interpret it? (It’s a small org fyi)