u/Ok_Drummer8349

I think I mostly need to vent, but I’m also curious how other babysitters/nannies would handle this.
I’ve been babysitting for almost 3 years and have worked with many different families. For the last year especially I’ve been working with families in San Francisco. I originally started doing it part-time while I was still a student, so I was charging around $20/hr.
At the time I didn’t think much of it because I was studying, competing in college athletics, and babysitting was extra income. But I graduated recently, I’m still looking for full-time work, and babysitting has basically become how I’m surviving in the meantime.
Looking back, I’m realizing how much I tolerated because I was scared of losing work.
I would commute over an hour across SF for $20/hr. There were days I woke up at 6am, traveled across the city, worked basically 8am-6pm taking care of a toddler, and still charged $20.
I’ve also had families change the time after I was already on my way or already in their neighborhood. One time I waited around for almost an hour because the child wasn’t ready/separating from the parent, only to eventually be told I could leave, and initially I didn’t even ask to be paid because I felt guilty.
Another family that I had become very close with eventually just stopped responding to me while they still owed me money.
And with another family, I had to text the dad THREE separate times asking for $120 he owed me. Weeks later I randomly saw him at the park and had to bring it up again before I finally got paid.
The embarrassing part is that I genuinely liked a lot of these families. I cared about their kids, talked to the parents almost like friends, checked on them when they were going through things, etc. Because the relationship felt friendly, I constantly felt guilty advocating for myself financially.
I think I confused being kind/flexible with having absolutely no professional boundaries.
Now I’ve decided my rate going forward is $32/hr on weekdays and $35/hr on weekends, with more depending on multiple children/responsibilities. I have almost 3 years of childcare experience and references from multiple families.
I told two older families about the increase today and both decided not to continue with me.
And weirdly... I’m actually proud of myself.
A few months ago I probably would have immediately said, “Okay, never mind, I can still do $20.” I was so desperate to survive that I accepted almost anything and then convinced myself I should just be grateful someone was giving me work.
I’m realizing now that someone being friendly with me does not make them my friend when it comes to employment, and liking someone’s child doesn’t mean I need to discount my labor.
I’m still unemployed, so turning down work feels terrifying lol. But I’m also exhausted from commuting all over San Francisco, rearranging my life around other people’s schedules, chasing people to pay me, and then feeling like THEY are doing ME a favor.
For other babysitters/nannies: does $32 weekday / $35 weekend sound reasonable for someone with almost 3 years of experience in SF? And how do you keep a warm/friendly relationship with families without letting that blur your boundaries around money and work?

Hi everyone,
Please be gentle I’m very new to all of this and don’t have many people in my life I can talk to about it openly.
For the last couple of months, I’ve been seeing someone who is in a poly/open relationship. I’m 25F and he’s 32M.
When we first met, it felt very casual and low-pressure. I knew he had a partner, and I genuinely didn’t feel bothered by it because he was honest from the beginning. I appreciated the openness, and I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time either.
Over time, though, things have become more emotionally intimate. We started spending a lot more time together, and it now feels like we are unofficially dating, even if we haven’t fully defined it. He has also said this is his first time seriously seeing someone else while being in this relationship structure, so I think he’s figuring it out too.
At one point, I asked him what the “protocol” or dynamic is in his relationship, mostly for my own clarity. He told me that his partner is considered the primary partner, while they can both have other relationships. But he also said he isn’t sure if he wants it to stay that way.
I genuinely have a great time with him and I feel there is care and honesty there. At the same time, as we get closer, I’m realizing I don’t always know how to manage the reality of him having another relationship. I don’t necessarily feel jealous, but sometimes I feel strange or uncomfortable, especially when I know he is spending time with his partner and then texting me as if everything is normal. I think I’m trying to understand what is normal in poly dynamics versus what simply may not feel good for me personally.
I also don’t want to ask too many questions or overthink things, because I’m enjoying what we have. But I’m starting to feel like avoiding questions may not be the healthiest thing either.
For people with more experience:
What are fair questions to ask someone in this situation?
How do you navigate dating someone who has a primary partner when the connection starts becoming more emotionally serious?
How do you know whether the discomfort is just newness/insecurity versus a sign that the structure may not work for you?
I’m not trying to judge polyamory or ask him to change his relationship. I’m just trying to understand how to move through this thoughtfully and not hurt myself or anyone else.

I'm an international student and just graduated with my master's degree in the U.S.
After months of job searching, countless rejections, interviews that went nowhere, and a lot of self-doubt, I finally received a job offer. It wasn't my dream job, but it was a real opportunity and, most importantly, it would allow me to stay in the U.S. on OPT.
To make it happen, I paid out of pocket for premium processing. I did everything I was supposed to do. I responded to every email immediately, coordinated with HR, completed all onboarding requirements, attended every appointment, contacted USCIS, my school, and anyone else who could possibly help move things along.
My OPT process ended up taking longer than expected, and today, completely out of the blue, the company rescinded my offer.
I honestly feel numb.
The hardest part is that this wasn't just a job. It was housing plans, financial plans, a future I had been trying to build for years. I moved to the U.S. alone at 17, completed my bachelor's degree, competed as a student-athlete, earned my master's degree, and worked incredibly hard to create a life here.
Now I feel like everything is collapsing at once.
I don't know if I should keep fighting to stay in the U.S., continue applying and hope something works out, go back hone or just use the little money I have left to travel for a while and clear my head before making any decisions.
Has anyone gone through something similar after graduation? Did things eventually work out?
Right now I feel exhausted, defeated, and honestly pretty lost.

Yesterday around 7pm I was walking at Union square and there was a group of people wearing the white anonymous masks. Any idea what this could have been?

Hi y’all this is more of a venting post. I’ve never felt so worthless in my life. I’m a master’s international student graduating in a month. My BA is in International Relations and my MA is in Urban and Public Affairs. I’ve been a student-athlete for the past 6 years, which is what initially brought me to the U.S., and despite the workload, constant traveling, etc., I still managed to gain experience through internships with international organizations, a consulate, and more.

I’ve been applying everywhere, hoping for an opportunity aligned with my interests, and I’ve only heard back from 2–3 places. I even got an interview with Google’s summer fellowship program with CEPA, but I found out today that I was rejected.

I’m currently in the process of applying for OPT, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth the hustle, the uncertainty, and the money.

My long-term goal is to pursue a career in academia through a PhD. Recently, I’ve been thinking about reaching out to professors doing research in areas I’m interested in, even unpaid, while working part-time jobs to support myself. The other option is to go back home, take some time to build a stronger profile, and apply again for PhD programs next cycle.

I just don’t know if I’m not qualified enough. I’m currently in the Bay Area, where it feels like everyone around me has a job and is making good money, and I just feel really alone in all of this.

Thanks for reading. I really hope better days are ahead for all of us recent grads.

I applied for Google’s policy fellowship and one of the host organizations reached out for an interview. After the interview they told me I would know whether I got accepted or not by the end of the day. It’s Tuesday today and I still haven’t heard a word. I sent them a follow up today. I’m super nervous should I expect the worst?how would you interpret it? (It’s a small org fyi)