u/Moony_Magic

This Is between a rant/support/ discussion.

Everything is still new so maybe I need to hear experiences of people that have been on this journey more.

AFAB, 28Yrs

My whole youth I have been attending to women's only spaces, I even still belong to a therapy group that's only for women but as the time is pacing I have been finding myself being uncomfortable on still being read only as a woman.

Even when the therapist says: Welcome Girls I have this Icky feeling of feeling not named.

So my thing is

Nobody is telling me to abandon those spaces but sometimes I feel like I don't belong anymore.

Like they are thinking only on cis people and my existence is still left out.

I don't want to go but at the same time I have start thinking of maybe it's time for me to start looking for new spaces where I could feel seeing or even acknowledged.

😔

I'm not looking for instructions, I just need some guidance.

Hey people!

I will finally start with a Family.

I will be working with a New Born but have been talking with the mom like two months ago since she started the hiring process.

She says the baby should be Born this week.

So, I don't know.

Do you think i will cross boundaries if I give the mom a tiny gift as a welcome to this new relationship?

It's not my first time working, I have been a nanny for the past 7 yrs and I want to start this as best as I can.

I was thinking something really small like some facemasks or like a lip balm.

They have been amazing during these first encounters so I'm trying to start with the right tune but im still unsure about a gift.

🫪🫪

THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT.

So, this is between a question and a rant.

My therapist is super fucking kind and I love them so much, they have been super supportive on my coming out as NB but now they started to talk about trans and using that word on me and I feel soooo weird inside.me.

I know, the theory says that anyone that is not comfortable with their gender could fall under the trans umbrella buuuuut I was living a life as a fake cisgender person two months ago, so this still feels weird.

Does this happen to you?

How to stop feeling like a faker?

I should add that I'm autistic so, I find it more difficult to accept and understand something that changed so suddenly.

My therapist is NB either so I feel super comfortable on them in this proccess but this new world feels so weird.

(Not necessarily wrong Tbh)

Today is the birthday of a little person I love very much, and that’s given me a lot to think about regarding life, which I’d like to share with you.

Today, V turns two – a baby I’ve looked after since she was just five days old.

I was there before she’d even opened her eyes; I held her and loved her before she even knew where she was.

From her mum’s tummy

And so I was thinking about how love is the strangest thing of all, how working in a way that requires you to give your love to others is something very important but also exhausting.

Because I know she won’t remember that I was there when she had a fever all morning, or that I was the one who taught her to crawl, but perhaps her body will.

I know that my job is to be there, to help, to support, to stay.

And that when things start to take shape and when they’re able to say, ‘I don’t want to’, ‘I can do it’ – that’s when I have to start thinking about leaving.

Because they no longer need someone to hold their hand for eight hours, Monday to Friday.

It hurts me deeply; every farewell cuts me to the quick, but even so, I choose time and again to embark on this journey.

Every day I work with the realisation that it might not last long, but that I give them my all with love.

I feel tremendously honoured.

Sometimes I feel that the children ask me questions that I also ask myself as a person.

They say to me: ‘Do you love me more than your other children?’

‘Do you work with more children?’

And then I just think, I love them all in different ways and I remember them all.

They’ve all left their mark on me.

And that love is never erased; it stays and transforms.

In a few weeks’ time, I’ll be starting with another baby who hasn’t even been born yet, and I’m already looking forward to it with excitement.

What a difficult job it is, where you have to tell your heart that things are temporary.

But that love will never end.

Perhaps V won’t even remember that I was there.

I was aware of that.

I knew she wouldn’t remember.

But I did it anyway.

With all the love in the world.

As if every day were the last.

And that’s what my job is like.

To give it my all,

even if the world is crumbling behind me.

And that’s fine.

I do it of my own free will.

I’m sad—or rather, feeling quite emotional.

A newborn baby taught me that I had to be patient, howl before speaking and that doing this will always, always be worth it.

Soooo.

I will start with a new family on August, NB and first time parents.

I'm here to ask about all the things I should ask/discuss with the family before we start working.

I'm not a newbie, I have 8 Ys of experience but this year I'm trying to set boundaries to avoid all the past misunderstandings I already experienced with previous families.

I'm asking here because I want to know what is normal to ask for with American families (I am not but will be working with one).

I know about sick days, vacations, guaranteed hours ...

But I want to cover everything and leave it on paper :p

Currently living in a city that is hosting the world cup.

More parents are requiring me but I don't think it's a normal service because I'm struggling more to be able to be there.

Transportation, closing avenues, weather, costing more money on Uber back.

Am I allowed to charge more?

If so how much?

Currently charging 10dlls per hour.

(Not from the United States)

Currently in a city that is hosting the world cup.

They are requiring me more but it's not a normal day..

Transportation is horrible, they are closing some avenues, I'm taking more time to come and go.

Am I allowed to upgrade my fee during the matches?

Currently charging 10 DLLs per hour.

If so, how much?

(I'm not from the states)

You have been a great space so I'm here with again a new life crisis 🫪😞

After a lot of crisis and therapeutic analysis I'm exploring the possibility that I can be non-binary or gender fluid or something else besides a woman.

I don't think I want to change to be more masculine but also I found out that I'm comfortable when people use they as a pronoun.

I have been a nanny for a long time and I know that I have to maintain a line between personal stuff and working stuff.

So my question or the type of advice I'm looking for is:

Is it weird to tell a family that I want to use the they/them as pronoun from now on?

I don't think I will change anything (at least right now) of how I'm presenting myself in front of the people, I just...

I don't know.

Want to feel more comfortable??

A lot of families I'm currently working with, know me from years so, it's still something that makes me anxious to talk about.

I don't have another place to write this and I think you will love this silly coincidence.

So, I have a WIP my main character is a little autistic girl.

I won't be discussing my plot but at some point she is assigned to a new therapist (and of course I created that character too)

When I wrote the therapist my first thought was to make them Non-binary because it was something that I imagined was going to be new for the main character but since she is a kid she won't be judging the therapist's appearance.

The therapist is so sweet and basically it was everything I ever dreamed for her (and deep down for me).

My main character is like my alter ego, I'm healing through her.

I wrote this six months ago.

So now we come to the present.

I have been in and out of therapy for a long time and I have met a lot of therapists on the way, nobody ever felt like I can connect with them

Until now.

A friend recommended me someone new.

She said "I trust them, they will be amazing for you"

And guess what!!!!

It's this non-binary therapist that has been the sweetest person I ever met.

At first I was like, "oh yeah hi gurl" (cause she goes by she/they).

And then she started to act like the therapist character I wrote for my story and I was like: wtf?!?!

Did I Manifested you?

Am I some sort of magician that can create stuff with the power of fanfic?

I always tell the parents to book my spaces with enough responsibility.

I don't mind the hours as long as you are here on time to receive your kids on the time that YOU settled.

If you are going to extend the time is fine but please be mindful that I plan everything around the time that YOU choose for me.

Today this mom booked six hours and in the end the baby ended up waking up early so she decided to take care of the baby after the nap, she ended up paying less because she let me go one hour earlier.

I hate that.

I don't care what happens but you have to pay for the time you choose for me to be available for your kid

Why do parents think they can decide for us?????

Hello, everyone.

​I’m not going to sugarcoat it

​I think I’m burning out, and I’m ashamed of it.

​The start of this year has been incredible for me, work-wise.

​I really haven’t stopped working with brilliant families in temporary placements.

​The last set of parents I worked with were lovely.

​That’s the problem – I haven’t stopped working.

​I’m booked up until September this year with different families, and that’s fine.

​But I feel like I can’t cope anymore.

​Important context: I’m autistic; noise hurts me, and the heat is torture. At work I mask it perfectly, but when I get home I just want to sleep.

​I don’t want to say No to the job offerings that are arriving because all the money helped me to finally be financially independent.

​If I don’t work I don't have money to pay the rent.

​Any tips, any tricks, even some kind words would be helpful right now.

​I love being a nanny, it’s literally my dream job but it’s killing me slowly

Hello, everyone.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it

I think I’m burning out, and I’m ashamed of it.

The start of this year has been incredible for me, work-wise.

I really haven’t stopped working with brilliant families in temporary placements.

The last set of parents I worked with were lovely.

That’s the problem – I haven’t stopped working.

I’m booked up until September this year with different families, and that’s fine.

But I feel like I can’t cope anymore.

Important context: I’m autistic; noise hurts me, and the heat is torture. At work I mask it perfectly, but when I get home I just want to sleep.

I don't want to say No to the job offerings that are arriving because all the money helped me to finally be financially independent.

If I don't work I don't have money to pay the rent.

Any tips, any tricks, even some kind words would be helpful right now.

I love being a nanny, it's literally my dream job but it's killing me slowly