No happy medium
My parents are in their mid-70s and live two hours away by car. My daughter is their only grandchild and will likely always be (we are not having any more children, and my sister has indicated she doesn’t want kids). Since my daughter’s birth several years ago, my parents have been incredibly hands off.
Being involved at a normal level has never been the norm for them. Until my sister and I left the house for good, our parents were extremely smothering, barely giving us any privacy or autonomy. It seems like now the pendulum has swung in the entirely other direction, to the point that we probably see them 2-3 times a year. They have really isolated themselves, and their lives revolve around about a five-mile geographic radius. I don’t expect them to make the drive if they’re not comfortable, but they also shoot down other options (our family coming to visit, someone driving them down, public transit, etc). My sister lives near me, so she is in the same boat with them.
It just makes me really sad that my daughter’s relationship with them consists of short FaceTime calls. I’m guessing it’s only going to get worse from here.