What is wrong with me
So I am super confused
I have trouble with my sexuality, gender identity and expression.
I am a hopeless case at this point. I for the most part don’t have any desire to pursue any sort of romantic or sexual life with anybody, however I do have fantasies of doing so, which is mostly a dreamworld, fantasyland, fiction I get lost in which I construct in my head when I have my maladaptive daydreaming episodes or during my sleep or pleasuring myself. I however am repulsed by the idea of sex in the real world, and to put it mildly do not think I am good enough or deserving of a romantic or intimate relationship with everyone; not just because I have issues but also because I kind of think people are overrated and the sexual acts even as timid as kissing disgusting. I sort of desire to have the sexual life however a physical manifestation of it just irks me. When I masturbate I will think of others but mostly an idealised or fictional version of them if it does involve a real life individual, however mostly it is a fictional entity I am desiring. I don’t see the fuss over sex at all
It’s disgusting to me.
Help