I'm really scared my current med (saphris) won't stop mania and I'll have to switch to a med that causes weight gain. I've been overweight my whole life and have worked really hard to lose it and I would be crushed by having to take a med that might make me obese.
I really resent the medical industry now after taking these medications. Every day im just angry or bored because I can't take pleasure in anything. I'm more irritable now than I ever was manic or hypomanic or whatever the fuck it was but I can't keep living my life like this. The doctors and psychiatrists prescribe these pills and never mention that they suck the joy out of everything. Everyday is the same cycle. Try and watch tv. Boring. Try and talk to people. Boring. Try and scroll social media. Boring. Get angry about the constant never ending boredom, read the same Reddit threads about how bored anti-psychotics make you. These drugs are worse than the illness itself. How doctors prescribe this shit in good faith is beyond me because this is hell. and then I see comments about how this is just what stability is. no it fucking isn't, you were prescribed a drug that literally prevents anything from being pleasurable. you are being tortured and lied to about it. God I fucking hate everything now.
Title. I used to really love music, I was super passionate about it. Video games and building things too. Also television. But now after taking the medicine I'm not manic anymore but I also just don't really enjoy these things. Watching the television kinda feels like staring at a blank wall. It makes me super frustrated, like what is the point of being stable if I can't enjoy anything? I don't want to be psychotic, but I also want to be able to enjoy things. It really feels like an impossible situation. It's made me consider suicide quite a bit.