my therapist wants to “fix” it
hello lesbians, i (23F) went back to therapy after a long time and decided to finally open up about my sexuality to my therapist (i live in a country where it’s illegal to be gay, and the sentencing for that is 7 years in prison iykyk )
my therapist is generally a kind man, he follows a developmental approach in therapy,
he told me that gay guys come to him all the time and it’s “manageable”
and then he told me about how one of his gay client got married to a woman cuz he wanted kids eventually in his lifetime even tho he’s not sexually attracted to women at all ,
he asked me if “i am willing to get fixed or not?”
i told him i don’t think that’s possible, i will live a lie , i only have had sex w women, only dated women and only imagine being with women , even though my reality does not make that quite feasible, he pitched the idea of me marrying a man w no sex drive as a solution?
he asked me if i am ever planning to have kids , my answer is “no”, he asked if i ever imagined myself as a mother, my genuine answer was “i already raised my younger siblings by myself i know i don’t want kids, i”ll never be what they need”
idk but i left the session feeling very confused ,
ik i can trust him cuz he promised me that it’s a safe space, but at the same time i feel like i am in conversion therapy lowkey, he did say that my sexuality is not “typical” i felt hurt…i feel like he saw me as some sort of leper…i did ask him if that changed the way he sees me as a person, his answer was no
i am eventually going to leave the country to study abroad but until then i am just working odd jobs and saving money so i can get out,
idk if someone went through something similar? i would love to know how you got through that experience because it feels isolating , i am currently single, my ex gf cheated on me and i blocked her, so i literally have no one to talk to about this