u/Rebecca0626

I have twins who are 5 yo. my daughter has autism level 1 but now that her speech has improved and she has potty trained this summer she blends in very well. she's really just a bit quirky which is great. Her brother however is non verbal, not ready for potty training at all and has some mobility issues. I have noticed for most of their lives that Isabella is welcome to attend any social gathering, club, vacation Bible school ect. Jack is consistently turned away from enrolling in anything. This summer I have tried very hard to get them in some activities such as camp, I've tried 3 different vacation Bible schools, a music program ect. I have volunteered to stay at these activities and help my son so he can attend and have all background checks but that has not changed the results. Jack has been told he cannot attend at all of them. We had thought we got him into a vacation Bible school this week and they promised to help with diapering but changed their minds at the last minute. Up until now I have been trying to only let Isabella attend things if her brother is welcome to also attend. I had felt it was sending the wrong message to her saying she deserves fun, friends and experiences when her brother doesn't because he's different. I'm concerned that he's not going to magically get better and he's never going to be welcomed anywhere. I cannot afford the huge cost to send him to a camp for disabled children. I've checked prices and it's around 2,000 a week for him to go which would never be in my budget. If I do allow her to attend alone going forward what should I be saying to my son? He will cry and be very upset. How can I let her know that he is her equal even when society does not agree? Or should I keep her home if he's not allowed to go?

I'm looking for advice. My son is 5 years old in junior kindergarten. He has significant developmental delays probably around 2 years old developmentally. He has very limited language. He loves to chew things. We had tried chewelery in the past but stopped because of serious risks.

1. He chews all chewelery into bits extremely quickly causing serious choking Hazzard

2. Drool becomes out of control causing serious exema

3. He's done significant Damage to his teeth

4. He becomes aggressive and starts biting others when he's had access to chewelery

We removed all chewelery because he was biting me over 5 times a day in average breaking skin and casing serious scarring on my body. I was bitten the most because I am his primary caregiver. Since he started jk they have said repeatedly they want him to have chewelery because it's good for children with autism. I'm sure it does benefit some kids but not mine. They have been giving him chewelery behind my back ( his twin sister is in the classroom and reports back to me and it's accidentally come home in his backpack twice). they are also allowing him to chew on small toys and furniture in the classroom. they are also allowing him to chew water bottles. They are not redirecting or giving him any punishment for doing so. His biting has returned with a vengeance. Most of the teacher/EA actions are given to me from his sister because she speaks well, knows the rules and likes to tell me anytime anyone is not following the rules. I have had several meetings with the principal explaining why all chewing has to stop. He chews nothing at home because he knows it's not allowed so he can be redirected and is able to understand the rules. He calms well with a compression vest. Sometimes when overstimulated he needs some quiet time. He is very well behaved mostly but I cannot have him ruining his teeth or biting peers/teachers or anything that isn't food. How can I get through to the teacher and principal that I am not wanting this to continue?