r/specialneedsparenting

Hi all,

To cut a long story short, I have a female relative with Alcohol Fetal Syndrome (adopted at a young age) who also has autism and is developmentally delayed.
She is 26, and is working at a primary school age in terms of her concept of money, bills etc.
She has no friends she sees on a regular basis, but has a boyfriend the same age as her, who she sees around once a month.
From what I’ve been told, he has had sex previously, and after dating for over 3 years, wants to have sex with female relative.
She thinks sex is just for pleasure for a man, and I want to find resources to support her understanding, to help her see it’s a natural thing to what to do with your partner.
She said they have kissed, but she has not let him go any further, but is sexually intrigued somewhat because it’s ’what everyone else does’
Any resources or books etc would be really helpful. Thanks ☺️

She turns 18 in a month, was diagnosed as a preschooler, and it's not mild at all. She's still learned some pretty decent communication skills, though, which has actually caused allot of problems. Her ability to cope with a regular school environment plateaued in middle school, but expectations of her didn't because she's actually able to speak for herself. So teachers-- even her special education teachers-- all think she's just getting an attitude when she's having a meltdown, and don't follow her IEP like they should. I can't blame them, because even I struggle telling the difference sometimes. She does all the normal teenager stuff, just in the most autistic way possible. So, now she's completely burnt out, and unable to function at school at all.

That's the pertinent background. I'm inclined to let her, but I'm afraid it'll set a bad precedent for her little brother and sister. She's certainly not ready for a regular job, and isn't going to college. She's likely going to be staying with me for at least the next few years. There are ways she can go back and finish her diploma later,and we're looking into all the alternative programs we can find, but Lord knows. We tried the GED practice tests with her, and she didn't make the English or math at all.

Like I said, I don't want it giving her siblings any crazy ideas. My youngest daughter is 10, and struggling at school too. She really looks up to her big sister, so I don't want her getting the idea she can give up.

Anyway, I'd really appreciate some outside perspective. Thanks.

My toddler has had physical therapy for most of his life, because of his premature birth. Recently, we moved to another state and had to find a new therapist.

At his old facility, ​there were multiple therapists working with multiple kids in a shared space with multiple parents observing. Nobody seemed to mind this. (There was, in fact, a sense of community, since we were all enduring similar difficult situations.)

When we started going to this new facility, it seemed to be much the same. This is a much smaller facility, so most of the time, there are only a couple of kids receiving therapy in the shared space at one time. I brought my child in, observed his therapy, encouraged him to try hard, and comforted him, when he failed. Just like always.

Now, after a month and a half of this, they are telling me that I won't be able to observe anymore. I'll have to wait in another room, while my child receives his therapy.

The reason they give is that my presence violates the privacy of the other children, because I might see or hear something privileged. So, they say it is against HIPAA.

Is that true? If it is, why did they let me violate their privacy for over a month? Why did the previous facility let me and other parents do it for years? Don't I have the right to be present for my minor child's appointment?

Sorry for the long post. Thanks in advance for any information you can provide.

-------- Update --------

I asked for a copy of their privacy policy. In a nutshell, it said, "We follow HIPAA. If you want specifics, our Notice of Privacy Practices is available on request." So, I requested it, and everybody looked at me like I'd asked for the moon. They ultimately said there isn't really any such document, except as part of their employee handbook. They said they would search through "all five hundred pages" and give me a copy, next week.

My little boy is 2 years 4 months and is non-verbal. He has very little babbling and has never really gone through the typical “bababa/dadada/mamama” stage.

His understanding is good and he communicates really well non-verbally — pointing, signing, gestures, good eye contact and joint attention. He’s very social and engaged with us, but producing speech sounds seems incredibly difficult for him.

I’d really love to hear from parents whose child was similar at this age, particularly children who had little or no babbling as well as no words.
Did your child eventually start talking? If so, at what age, and did you ever find out what was causing the difficulty?

Positive stories especially welcome ❤️

I am desperately searching for snow boots that will work for my daughter. She is 2.5 and has gross motor delays and vestibular issues (balance is hard for her). She does well in stride rite tennis shoes and See Kai Run tennis shoes. But every pair of snow boots I have found are SO heavy and when I try them on her she struggles to walk and that is on flat dry ground so I would imagine it would be even harder when it snows. Anyone have any recommendations?

My daughter loves to play with me and copies everything I do. I could have sworn she said good morning to me twice the other day, and I almost cried. She is starting to say bye-bye a lot more and wave bye to her older siblings when I drop them off at school. She listens when I tell her to give me things she’s not supposed to have, and it almost sounds like she’s saying thank you. Lol. She has a speech delay. She’s only said mama a few times to me but not very often. She loves to sit next to me and jump on my lap and stare right at my eyes and laugh. She’s a very playful, affectionate baby girl, and I love her big hugs she gives me. She raises her arms up when she wants me to pick her up. She goes into the pantry, turns on the light, and grabs her own snack, closes the door, and comes to me smiling, wanting me to open it. If she forgets to turn off the pantry light and door, she will make the “oh” sound and run back to do it and then comes back to me smiling. Then she loves to sit next to me and eat it and always looks at me constantly smiling. She lacks pointing though. she does it when she wants, not very often, but does it. She does look when I point though. I guess my question is, are kids in the spectrum affectionate? She always wants to be picked up by her dad or siblings. She climbs up to her brother’s bed and loves to lay with him. She is very cuddly.

My last post was way too long for me to do an update.

https://www.reddit.com/r/specialneedsparenting/s/IRr65Rw9eK

I ended up emailing the sped teacher, principal, teacher who runs the Best Buddies. I told them what had happened, everything I offered as a solution, I took my part of the blame by not contacting the principal about my solutions or that I should have walked her to the door at the very least. In the email about I stated how I want us to fix the issues so the next school dance, this doesn't happen again.

The principal called me and apologized. He said her teacher wasn't fully correct in her answers. He said that they could have seen if any aides were available to go. They would have paid them.

I explained that I had offered to go as a chaperone and even stay the entire time after my kid wanted to leave, I was told about the Buddies thing in response. The teacher technically didn't say I could or could not chaperone. I explained that I made an assumption and didn't ask about the typo. Looking back i should have asked. I didn't though, because the email she responded to was only about the dance. Not any homecoming week activities. He said that parents are always welcome at the dance.

He apologized, we are going to tell him next dance that we want an aide to be there. If that doesn't work, we are more than willing to chaperone. Hes going to send out an email to just cover what we talked about. I told her father that basically we were doing everything right and in the order it should have gone, just talking to the wrong people.

It don't make up for it, but at least we can prevent it from happening again or to a different student. I could tell he felt very bad that, that was my daughter's first high school dance experience.

I’m looking for advice on how parents of special needs kids handle medical treatment. This is not for me but our friend.

Her daughter is 14 and has been diagnosed with autism but doesn’t totally fit the criteria. She’s non-verbal, making mostly “ba ba” sounds although she does say “ma” for her mother, “bump” because she likes driving over speed bumps 😀 and calls my wife “KeeKee” (her name doesn’t remotely sound like that).

“Mary” doesn’t like if things change such as having to put on a new pair of shoes because the old ones have holes. She only eats certain foods, only drinks water.

She’s been relatively healthy so hasn’t needed any medical care. For dental cleanings she has to be sedated.

Yesterday she holding her ear and saying “ow” so they went to urgent care. The mother and my wife had to actually lay on top of her and hold her head still so the doc could just look.

She has a large pimple in there. Normally it would be lanced and then give her antibiotics. Doc said she should go to her pediatrician or ENT but who knows how long until that can be done. Putting a hot compress in it might help but after 5 minutes she fights to get away.

We can’t bribe her with treats or toys because she doesn’t understand. We tried letting her use a toy doctor kit on us hoping she’d understand what the doc would do but she wouldn’t do it.

How do you parents handle office treatments for “simple” things? It’s different for more complicated things requiring an ER visit where she’d be sedated. Would your kid have to be sedated for a procedure like this?

Our friend is a single mom with no family and a limited support system so we do what we can for her. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

UPDATE: after talking with several nursing friends they all agreed that it needed to be lanced. Because it was a “small” issue they said that giving her a shot of ketamine or IV would be too much on the kid so we basically held her down and a quick lance and it was done. The pus came out. They gave her a prescription for Bactrin. She’s no longer in pain so she should be able to sleep. A few rough seconds. Just so exhausting. It’s so hard on our friend. I don’t know how she manages every day.

Bless all of you. I wish the best to you and your kids.

Hi, awesome parents!

Our son is 3 years and 2 months old and was diagnosed with autism just a week ago. The diagnosis was difficult for us to process at first, but we’ve decided to stay hopeful, optimistic, and focus on giving him all the support we can.

We’ve already enrolled him in ABA and OT, and we’re currently waiting for his Speech Therapy schedule. We’re also considering enrolling him in a Montessori school so he can have regular opportunities to play and interact with other children.

Right now, he can say words and identify many things such as letters, numbers, colors, animals, and familiar people like Mama, Papa, and Tita. He can also sight-read some words and follow instructions such as putting his clothes in the basket, cleaning up his toys, and washing his hands.
He can drink from a glass independently and use a spoon and fork with some assistance. He can remove his shorts by himself and can put on his shirt and shorts with assistance.

Our main concerns right now are communication and social interaction. He has difficulty communicating his wants and thoughts, making consistent eye contact, and responding when we call his name, especially when he is focused on something. He also has echolalia and currently doesn’t show much interest in interacting with other children.

Despite all of this, we’re happy and hopeful about where we are starting. Our biggest goal right now is simply to help him become more communicative and better able to express himself.

One thing that worries me is whether additional challenges or behaviors might appear as he gets older, or whether some children can seem to get worse before making progress.

For parents whose children were similar to our son at around 3 years old, I would really love to hear your stories. How is your child doing now? How did their communication, social interaction, response to their name, and other skills develop after starting therapy?
Whether your progress was fast, slow, or had ups and downs, I’d really appreciate hearing about your journey. We’re still very new to all of this and would love to learn from parents who have walked this path before us. ❤️

Thank you!

My kids are being abused somtimes and my life feels like it's over.

Please. Read this and give me your honest advice. I really feel lost and overwhelmed.

I have been married for few years now. My wife is 2 months away from giving birth to our second daughter. I have 2 more children with 2 other wemon. Yea I know...

My wife has a green card from venazuala.

Today I found out she hit my disabled daughter in the face causing her to fall and have a bruise on her face.

My wife does seem to have anger issues. She is pregnant and I do consider this a little....

She will not admit to me she hit my disabled daughter. My daughter is a non verbal teenager with downs...

She just keeps lying about it all.

I feel so lost. This is my 3rd time trying to make a family and all 3 families I've tried. Both the 2 other moms are charged with Felonies for child abuse and the other threatening to kill me.

I have 100% custody of all my kids. I work 50 hours a week. I have Noone. I need advice. I'm about to go to my attorneys office tomorrow. I can't stand thinking of losing my children. I do everything for them with the help of my wife.

I just can't do this on my own and I'm begging for help. I don't have family. I'm adopted and my adopted family are crazy people.

I just wish I had help. Please

​

Hi everyone! I’m pretty new to the autism diagnosis world. I have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old who were recently diagnosed. My 4-year-old is somewhat verbal, while my 2-year-old is nonverbal.

Their pediatrician recommended ABA for both. My 4-year-old also needs speech and feeding therapy, and my 2-year-old needs speech therapy.

I’m nervous about sending them to an actual ABA center because they’re both still very young, neither is potty trained, and they aren’t fully able to communicate with me about what happens during the day. The ABA center I toured also had older children there, which made me a little uncomfortable.

I’m considering doing in-home ABA for both of them, but I’m trying to figure out how that would actually work. I’m assuming they would each be working on different goals and at different levels, so how do you keep them from distracting or bothering each other during their sessions? Would they need to be in separate rooms?

If anyone has multiple children receiving ABA or other therapies at home at the same time, I’d really appreciate hearing how you made it work. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed trying to figure all of this out, and honestly it’s been keeping me up at night.

I get it. Weekends are nice. Monday is hard for everyone. That’s why there’s the whole “case of the Mondays” thing.

But I need to set my kid up for success better on Mondays. She’s been struggling with behaviors and meets expectations 60% of the time Tues-Fri but 0% of the time Monday.