u/Majestic_Series288

My kids fight constantly. Older kid picks on younger kid every second of every day. Younger kid gets frustrated and acts out. They both get in trouble. Younger kid is special needs, older kids thinks younger gets special treatment, the cycle continues.

And I try to explain and separate and give equal one on one time and have natural consequences, but at a certain point... My typical kid has got to stop picking on her sister. They obviously both need to be civil towards each other, but now I need to impose and extra level of, like, understanding and responsibility on to a kid because her sister is different and, yea, things are going to look

different. And I hate it.

I have to parent my kids consistently, but differently, but with the same rules and boundaries, but with different age expectations, and make them both feel valued and important and listened to and equal and it's really, really hard. They are only a year apart. For most of their friends, siblings this close have the same rules and responsibilities, and my oldest is starting to resent that our house is different.

And it sucks

It sucks. I am trying to keep age appropriate rules and chores and whatever with my older child, and foster development in my younger child, and they are both super competitive and up each other's asses all the time, and I am exhausted. I don't have a conclusion. My kids are fighting. The stakes are not equal. This sucks.

This is really my first time feeling this effect. Like, truly, Jassica Lange died. I am not confusing this with Jessica Walter, I remember when she died and I was a big Archer fan so I was sad and wondered how what they were going to do with her character.

And I thought the exact same thing about American Horror Story when Jessica Lange died. And then she wasn't in the show for half a dozen seasons. Because she was dead. Now the promotions for AHS 13 are out and she's alive and well. Does anyone else remember this??

Kiddo's first day of kindergarten, support classroom, behavior staff, keeping my phone on me at work at all times.

She did great at school, complete meltdown when we got home. Which I expected.

Which is how it always goes. The therapist and the psychologist and the psychiatrist and the case worker all day, she's learning how to socialize, she's getting all these skills, if she lashes out at home it's where she feels safe.

So I get a two hour tantrum/crash after her teacher and BHT get a full day of a fun silly kid who is ready to listen and learn and play. Because she feels safe with me, she elopes, breaks things, hits and kicks me, and I have to stay neutral and consistent and close by and be a coach and a cheerleader and a parent and a nurse, and big emotions and being tired lead to seizures, and then we have to go through the whole cycle and also I need to help my other kid with homework and playtime and relaxing and bath time and bedtime and OH YEA THERE IS ANOTHER KID HERE WHO NEEDS AND DESERVES A PARENT AS MUCH AS THE OTHER.

BUT MY CO-PARENT LEFT. They couldn't handle the kids and couldn't habdle me when I had been left alone for days with two kids, and then turned violent, and now I have a child with a TBI CAUSED BY HER PARENT and I have to suddenly become the advocate/nurse/caregiver/therapist and also a single mom and also try to give my children equal attention and grace and rules and rewards and consequences and try to explain to a grade schooler why her sister gets "special privileges" (like getting out of school early for blood draws and EEGs) without scaring her. And then I get the hear my kid say, "I want to get my head hurt to so I can go to the doctor!"

And the stress is too much. Coordinating all of the appointments and case workers and legal battles and leaving work for emergencies and insurance and SSI and all of it, it's too much. My kid needs supports. It is 100% up to me to get them. My other kid needs support. It is 100% up to me to give it. And I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can deal with the stress and a job and paying the bills and signing permission slips and giving both my typical kid and my special needs kids all the things they need an deserve without having a total breakdown myself.

I got my nails done every three weeks, for years. It was my one hour of self care where I could just feel pampered and relax. My nail tech sent me a text last week, "is everything ok?" I haven't been in four months. I am burning out. I don't know how to a mom to both of them, together, all the time. I'm so tired. I am so unsure of every decision I make. Today when I picked my kids up, my mire typical kid got her bag, and followed me to to cat, and got out when we got home, and fed the dogs, all while her sister threw a violent fit. And when I went to comfort and talk to her after, she refused a hug and said she's okay. Just like the last time, and the time before that. And I just want a hug from her so bad.

I want my typical kid to have a good childhood. I want her to love me.

I want my special needs child to ... Need less care?

I feel like a horrible mother.

I really really really wanted her to give me a hug.

I have a first grader and a new Kindergartener this year, little sis is going in to the special needs classroom. She is nervous. I am terrified. Will she be ok on the bus? Will she get lost in her new school? Will she be scared? Angry? Will other kids pick on her? Will other kids pick on big sis for her little sister? Will the after school program be too much for her?

The support teacher is highly recommended and has been in special education for years. The school guidance counselor was amazing last year. My older child has never reported any bullying aside from normal tiffs that I feel the staff handled well. It's a diverse neighborhood school.

So why am I so scared?

Please send me some positive thoughts or reassurance. I feel like I have all the supports in place for both kids to succeed, but I am second guessing everything as the first day gets closer.

My child developed epilepsy from her TBI, primarily focal seizures. Does anyone have experience with trileptal for focal/absence seizures, what side effects should I look for?

My child developed epilepsy from her TBI, primarily focal seizures. Does anyone have experience with trileptal for focal/absence seizures, what side effects should I look for?

I am sitting on the edge of my tub sobbing. Why. Why? Why did this happen to my daughter? Why did someone do this to her? How? How could someone shake a child? How am I supposed to keep taking care of her? What can I do? Why?

She is a wonderful funny happy silly kid. She is creative and loves to draw and dance. She loves to help around the house. She loves her sister and our pets. She loves me in the whole wide world. And still, the aggression takes over, and she gets violent, or depressed, or destructive, she is a danger to herself and others, and when she comes down she sobs for hours and hours and says she can't control her brain and she's afraid.

But I will cry in here for just a few more minutes while she watches Numberblocks, and then I will go back out there, and I will go over her feelings cards and we will redecorate her cozy corner and we will try again. And again.

But this fucking sucks.

My daughter is almost 6, recently she has been getting so tired, even just a few hours after waking up from a full night's sleep. She's fallen asleep at her daycamp and had to be sent home several times now. We have a very set bedtime and wake up routine. She's on anti-seizure meds (for focal seizures). I'm so used to her being an energetic kid. I sent a message to her neurologist already, just wondering if anyone else has seen this kind of onsent and if anything helped?

Less structure, different staff, different hours, the sun is messing up my carefully constructed bedtime routine, and every single public space is loud and crowded.

... I mean... Yay, summer break! How fun!

(I posted a few days ago about needing to leave or changey kob, thanks to all who commented with advice and support!)

My child's school district is looking for paraprofessionals, I saw there is a website where I can sign up for the courses to get a cerifcate of competency through SAS, does anyone know if this is self guided or do I need to reach out to an agency or the school beforehand? I have a bachelor's degree but not in any field related to education, and I am willing to do the course work myself to complete the certification, but before I get in to it I thought I'd reach out here to see if anyone has done this, specifically in PA as I know things can be different state to state. This is also for a public school if that makes a difference.

My custody order has rotating holidays, marked by even years and odd years. My ex has always had difficulty keeping a calendar, being on time, remembering conversations. All of our communication now is through text or email now.

I keep a joint calendar with all confirmed visitations and all of the kids' appointments, my ex has said they have it set up to get notifications for these events.

It's an event year, 2026, and my ex was supposed to have the kids for Memorial Day and Fourth of July. Odd years they would get Labor Day. They never confirmed those visits with me, I never put them on the calendar. Now they are asking me about Labor Day.

Is it better to just let them have Labor Day and avoid the argument? Should I just send a screenshot of the custody agreement?

This is a very contentious relationship for a lot of reasons and I am terrified of making my ex angry. But I don't think I am responsible for reminding them or sending calendar invites for their parenting time. How can I navigate this conversation without escalating anger?

I have spent the last four years trying to make it work, getting my child the support she needs, and working full time. But it's all coming to a head and I will probably have to quit my job when the school year starts again.

I love my job. I really love what I do, I have great coworkers and good benefits and decent pay. But I don't have before and after school care to meet my kid's needs.

I am on lists for private nannies and specialized day cares but I have no hope we will move up the list in the next few weeks.

I don't know if I am cut out to stay at home. I worry I will end up resenting all of this. I love my current job. Part time isn't an option at this office. I'm just really grieving the life and achievements I wanted to make for myself.

Hey gang. The kiddo (5f) had a really rough one today. The morning routine was normal, she had a good night's sleep, dropped her off at daycare and she was a little shy and hesitant for me to leave (which isn't unusual some days), and she transitioned from the drop off room to her classroom just fine. Then she was playing with some blocks, another kid knocked them over, and she lost it.

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Extreme aggression, throwing, scratching, biting, swearing (this is new and really strange, not sure where she even heard some of these words), her behavior tech had to separate her to another room. Lasted almost 45 minutes. And, as usual, she crashed and a few minutes later she's back to her silly normal self. No lingering grumpiness, anger, sadness, nothing.

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A lot of this was over by the time I got out of work to pick her up. But she was dismissed for the day and now I'm just at home with a kid who doesn't understand why she couldn't stay with her friends because she's "being good now."

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TBI was three years ago next month. I'm still completely unable to predict some of these outbursts. She's been in behavioral therapy for two and a half years. Medicated. Seizures seem to be under control. I just feel out of ideas on how to help her, how to prime her day or environment to prevent an episode, how to explain some of this stuff to her, anything...

Three years post abusive head trauma. She's getting bigger, and she's getting more frustrated, and it's summer so the daily schedule is thrown off. And she's angry, and aggressive, and violent. And I don't always know what to say about my cracked rib and bruises down my legs and pulled muscle in my arm. Her case worker and behavior therapists don't have a lot of advice to give right now either. Her sister is terrified of her. I just want my baby to feel safe, to feel calm, to feel ok. I taking a few minutes to cry in my room before I go back out, but honestly I am not ok today.

This is definitely a problem for ALL parents, but perhaps someone on this community has figured out some magic system I could actually work with.

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Two adults, two kids, pets. My special needs kid can go through several outfits a day, and so I am combatting urine and food stains and the normal debris from summer time outdoor play. And while "logically" doing the laundry is a lot of downtime with washing and drying cycles, having the opportunity where everyone is regulated and safe and entertained so I can leave the room and go do a load of laundry often feels impossible. Forget folding it and putting it away.

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My kid is often able to dress herself, and being able to get her own clothes is a HUGE deal for her self esteem, so I feel a lot of pressure to keep the kids' clothes organized and accessible. And right now I am looking at a laundry room with four or five loads of washed and dried laundry sitting in heaps on the floor.

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The last two/three weeks have been disregulation city around here. My partner and I have been able to keep the kids and pets fed, kitchen manageable, and the bathroom clean, but that's about it.

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Is it ok to live out of laundry baskets? Does it matter if the kids go to summer programs in wrinkled tshirts? Is there some way to get a handle on this so I don't feel like such a slob every few weeks???